Fragments of Us

Chapter 1

The sun filtered through the campus trees, casting long shadows across the courtyard. It was the day of the school festival, at karamihan sa mga estudyante ay nasa malawak na field at naghahanap ng ikatutuwa nila. The air buzzed with excitement, there are students darting between booths while chattering in high-pitched voices, and the laughter of some groups of students are echoing against the university buildings. Kahit saan mapatingin ang kung sino man ay makakakita ng de kolores na mga banner, food stalls, at saka mga booths na iba't-ibang laro ang inaalok.

The festival was meant to be fun. For some of the students, it is a break from the endless grind of lectures and assignments. But for Hana, it felt like one more thing to juggle.

Sa library pa rin nakatambay si Hana kahit na alam niya ang kasiyahan sa labas. Imbes na naglilibot siya buong field ay nakaupo ito sa isang lamesa sa tahimik na library at walang malay na nilalaro ang ballpen sa kamay niya. Kanina niya pa pinakakatitigan ang textbook na nasa harap niya pero hindi pa rin niya maintindihan ang binabasa. The words in front of her blurred, the words in each sentence are mocking her as if they knew her mind was anywhere but on the exam she had tomorrow.

Her phone buzzed beside her. Ilang segundo pa ay lumabas ang message ni Kervy, childhood friend niya. "Remember, 5 PM. Don't chicken out or else I won't buy you that burger!"

Tahimik na napasimangot sa inuupan niya si Hana. She couldn't help herself but groaned when she felt a pit forming in her stomach. Ilang araw na siyang pinipilit ni Kaito na sumipot sa isang blind date sa booth na itinayo ng organization na kinabibilangan nito. Ginawa pa nitong suhol ang limited offer na burger king sa isang mamahaling restaurant na ilang lingo na niyang tinatarget. But Hana knew better; that this blind date, set up with one of Kaito's classmates, was his way of pushing her into the dating world.

Ilang beses nang umayaw si Hana. Although may ilang beses din niyang naisip na pumayag para lamang makaexperience siya ng ganoong sitwasiyon ay nananaig pa rin ang pagkamahiyain niya. But then, Kaito offered something irresistible. He knew how to push her buttons, and daring her to go on a blind date had been his trump card. He claimed it was "for her own good," pero masyado niya itong kilala. Alam niyang nag eenjoy lamang ito kapag nakikita siyang nasa sitwasiyong pinaka-ayaw niya.

The idea of meeting some guy at a random festival booth, smiling awkwardly through small talk, and pretending to be interested felt like a torture. Lalo na ngayon.

Lumipad ang tingin ni Hana sa orasang nasa cellphone niya. Alas dose y media na ngunit hindi pa rin siya nangangalahati sa pinag aaralan niya. Agad na bumilis ang tibok ng puso niya ng maisip na babagsak siya sa exam bukas ng umaga. She couldn't help but feel that it is far worse than blowing off some blind date.

She'd text Kaito later, she thought. Pipilitin niyang maintindihan siya nitong mas kailangan niyang unahin ang exam at kahit gustuhin niyang sumipot ay hindi pwede.

Her fingers hovered over her phone, ready to send a quick message. Pero may kung anong pakiramdam ang nagpigil sa kaniya. Animoy lamig na galing sa malapit na aircon ang biglang pagyakap sa kaniya ng kaniyang konsensya. Pumayag na siyang sisipot siya at tiyak na pupunta din ang classmate ni Kaito, hihintayin siya, at baka pa naeexcite itong makita siya. But the guilt quickly gave way to frustration. How had she even let Kaito talk her into this? It wasn't like she was desperate to meet anyone.

One blind date doesn't change your entire life, sa isip niya. But an exam failure? That's a whole other story.

Pero kahit na mas pinili niya ang pagrereview para sa exam bukas ay hindi niya pa rin mapigilan ang maliit na pagkabagabag niya dahil doon. Hindi niya pa rin magawang i-send ang text message niya. She knows she had to send it now, but as soon as that thought crossed her mind, another buzz shook the phone.

Mga malalaking letra ang sumalubong sa kaniya ng pindutin niya ang bubble na chat head ng group chat nila. It is a reminder from her study group about the last-minute meeting to review for the exam.

One thing at a time.

Bago pa siya mag isip ng kung ano-ano ay tumayo na si Hana mula sa pagkakasalampak ng upo sa gilid at saka kinuha ang mga gamit upang umalis sa library. Hana shut her phone off and without a second thought, she pushed it deep into her bag. The festival, the date—lahat yun ay makapaghihintay.

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Mabilis na lumipas ang mga oras at unti-unti nang bumababa ang araw. Patuloy pa rin sa pag-aaral si Hana na ngayon ay lumipat na sa study section ng library as an attempt to get herself far from the distraction of the outside. Maingay pa rin sa labas ng library at nagsasaya pa rin ang mga estudyanteng hindi yata nagsasawa sa mga palaro, pagkain at kung ano-anong ganap sa field.

Her phone remained silent, untouched, a looming reminder of what she hadn't done.

By the time Hana finally left the library, it was late. Madilim na ang langit at wala na ang mga ingay ng tugtog at sigawan sa labas. The once-bustling campus was eerily quiet and the remnants of a good time scattered along the pavement. The moment she passed by the blind date booth of the Math Organization, she stopped. Pinakatitigan niya ang madilim at walang katao-taong booth na kanina lamang ay puno ng mga estudyanteng kinikilig at nagtatawanan. Somehow, a sharp pang of guilt stabbed through Hana's chest.

I should've messaged Kaito.

Pero hindi niya nagawa. At ngayon, it was too late. Kung sino man ang lalaking inireto sa kaniya ni Kaito, sana ay umalis agad ito ng ilang minute na ang lumipas at hindi pa rin siya dumadating. Hindi niya maiwasang maisip itong pinakatitigan ang cellphone niya at lumilingon sa kung saan habang nagbabakasakaling dumating siya. Pagkatapos ay marerealize nitong hindi talaga siya sisipot. Kaito is going to have a field day with this one—he always liked to tease her about her aversion to dating. Pero ngayon, baka hindi lang ito ang gumawa noon. There was someone else involved. Someone who didn't even know her, and yet she had managed to stand him up.

Ipinagpatuloy ni Hana ang paglalakad sa madalim na pathway habang nag-iisip ng paraan upang makabawi sa ginawa niyang hindi pagsipot sa kung sino man iyon. She will text Kaito tomorrow, explain everything, and maybe he'd smooth it over with his classmate. Baka man lang makita niya ulit ang classmate nito, sa tamang panahon at sa hindi pilit na paraan. Baka kapag iyon ang mangyari, makabawi siya sa ginawa niyang kasalanan.

But deep down, Hana felt that this was one of those moments she'd rather forget. Madali lamang niyang ipagwalang bahala ang ginawa niya at mag move on. After all, it wasn't like she was ever going to meet that guy now.

Out of sight, out of mind.

And with that, Hana left the empty festival grounds behind her.