Smoke and Mirrors

Chapter eleven

Harry's POV

It's been all go the past week with doing back to back shows every night. Zayn collapsed just as we finished singing Act my age, we always give it everything for the last song of the show but tonight I could see Zayn just staggering backwards towards the exit.

I knew he was still feeling weak and hasn't been doing interviews, since he got discharged from hospital. He needs to rest as much as possible for his energy to pick back up, but obviously he's not improving.

Zayn and I are on the way to meet with management to request a hiatus. I'm feeling nervous and anxious for this meeting but I'm also feeling guilty. I never told Louis about it. God I hope he forgives me and understands that I would only do this with our best interests in mind. I know this band is his life and technically I'm doing it for him too, so we can be free.

"We're here" says the driver, I look at Zayn as we pull up outside the skyscraper building, it looks as if it's touching the sky. We both look at each other and nod to say we're ready and let's do this.

I push open the car door, take a deep breath and walk towards the gold double doors. My hands are clammy and I can feel the sweat forming on my neck from nerves. Zayn and I walk side by side towards the elevator and press the up button. Immediately one of the elevator's opens. I press for floor 30.

Our backs are pressed against the back of the elevator but both our legs are jumping like mad as we start to go up.  Just before we get to the 30th floor we fist bump each other and at the same time we say " Ready" "Shit this is it" I say to Zayn as the doors open and we walk out together into the open planned office.

I can feel my heart beating out of my chest, I'm not taking in what's going on in and around the office yet. Office staff are saying hi etc but I'm so distracted I can't hear them. We are directed to the boardroom for our meeting.

My eyes start to flick round to everyone in the room, they're either on phones or typing on their laptops. A few of them have confused looks on their faces as we pass them. They're probably wondering why 2 out of 5 members of One Direction are here.

We reach the boardroom and I can see through the glass that Tom and Cora are waiting, and I see our London office is joining in via video link for the meeting. With my sweaty hand I pull down the handle and we walk in shit scared. The room is silent and all eyes are on us. My heart beats even faster as we both make our way to take a seat opposite everyone.

"Hi Harry and Zayn, what seems to be the problem?" Tom asks us kicking off this hard conversation. Zayn clears his throat and takes a deep breath then exhales. "We're requesting a short hiatus after our tour, I've been given medical advice from my doctor and I'm really struggling with the demands of all of this," Zayn begins explaining.

All their faces drop in shock at Zayn's request. The room went silent. I don't know what they're going to say back but I hope they agree to this.  "I'm losing lots of weight and my anxiety is through the roof, I really think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown if we keep going the way we are" Zayn continues.

Nobody has said anything to us yet which is making me nervous, they always are quick with their responses. I speaks up after Zayn "I would also like a hiatus because Louis and I want to come out to the world," With those words I see Tom's hand ball into a fist. Fuck, I've hit a nerve by saying that. Tom turns his head towards Cora and whispers something in her ear discreetly, she nods in agreement.

Tom then turns round in his chair to face the TV to our London office and I can see he hand signals something to them. They also just nod and Tom turns back to face us. "Ok Zayn and Harry, would you mind waiting in the coffee room while we discuss this?" Tom suggests.

"Sure, we will go grab a drink while you discuss it" I reply. I can hear Zayn dragging his feet behind me as we walk down the corridor to wait for our fate to be decided.

We get to the coffee room and make ourselves a drink and sit at a small table in the corner. "Harry, do you think they will agree to our request" Zayn asks me as he takes a sip of his coffee. "I hope so Z, it sounds promising as they didn't say no to us straight away, they normally do" I say with hope in my voice. My phone starts vibrating in my pocket.

I take it out of my black jeans and look down to the screen and see Louis name and picture on it, he's wondering where I am. I didn't tell him where I was going, I just sneaked out while he was doing a video call to home with Lottie. He will be panicking now but I can't answer and tell him what I'm up to, he will want to get here and talk us out of it.

I do feel really guilty about keeping this from him and the others but I know once we tell them they will understand. With that Tom walks in and tells us they're ready for us again. Zayn and I lock eyes and we get up from our seats to follow him back down the corridor. I'm getting nervous butterflies in my stomach as I think they're going to agree.

We all get back into the room and take our seats again. My eyes flick to the table and I see a stack of papers in front of Tom. 'Omg' they're going to let us take this hiatus, I can feel it. I start to get excited and my mind is flooded with happy thoughts of what is going to happen next.

"We have discussed what you have requested today and the answer is NO, we're not accepting your request of a break" Tom takes pleasure in tells us with his superior voice.

Immediately my heart sinks and I turn to Zayn. He looks back to me and I can see his tears starting to form. I sit here in shock not knowing what to say back, I really thought they would agree to this.

"I'm not staying in the band any longer and I'll be leaving after tonights show, I don't care what you say or do to me" Zayn says while tears roll down his face. What did Zayn just say? My mind is swirling now. I'm so shocked.

Zayn is so unwell he's willing to give up being in the band when we know he loves it. My head drops and the tears start filling my eyes from this news.

"Zayn, you know you can't just up and leave like this, you signed all those contracts and if you break them there will be consequences. We say when and if you can leave" Tom explains in a strick tone. I'm still sitting here unable to speak, I just reach out my hand to Zayn to offer support. He reaches for mine and squeezes it hard.

"I don't care what you do to me, sue me if you need to, but I'm packing my bags and I'm leaving after the Chicago show tonight" Zayn says with a bit more strength in his voice, even though he still has tears falling down his face. He really is at rock bottom to make this decision. I totally understand what Zayn is requesting but I'm totally heartbroken for him to get to this point.

"And for you Harry, we're going to make life even harder, you and  Louis will not come out. You two are from now on not allowed to look at each other in public because if you do we're bringing in a girl for BOTH of you. "I want you to sign and agree to this" Tom barks at me. 

My eyes go wide with what I was just told and I freeze. I can feel Zayn's hand squeezing mine again for support.

"No, you promised that this wouldn't happen again to us" I stammer out. "Tough shit Harry, this is the way it is but if you do sign we will allow Zayn to leave" Tom adds in.

My heads so sore and I'm still trying to take it all in, I want Zayn to be free from all of this, he's suffering more than us. Zayn has made his decision, I can only say yes because when it comes down to it, it's Zayn's health that matters most.

"Ok, I'll sign to let Zayn go" I shake my head and grab the pen in front of me and sign all the documents. "Harry you can't do this, you're signing your life away again" Zayn says while trying to take the pen out of my hand. "It's fine Z, I can handle it, your health is more important than this" I look at him and force a smile to reassure him.

He shakes his head and mouths thank you, still with tears in his eyes. Just as I get to the last page to sign my name a small tear drops on the ink, it smudges, that's it,now everything is signed and Zayn is free.

Zayn signs his end of contract and stands up and walk out. I push the papers forcefully towards Tom and leave after Zayn. Once we get in the elevator, the doors close I hug Zayn tightly.

On the way down, no words were exchanged all you could hear was the sound of our cries.