˚✮ Ghost in the Abyss ✮˚

Chapter 4: The Weight of His Ideals

Just the blond math teacher getting angry at himself and getting a whole ass villain arc cuz why not lmao :]

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Kunikida stood at his desk, eyes darting between the piles of paperwork that had become his life in the aftermath of Dazai's death. Each document was a reminder of the world of order and justice he had dedicated his life to uphold, a world that felt increasingly fragile in the aftermath of that one fucking day.

He had always prided himself on his ideals, on his unwavering commitment to doing what was right. But now, those beliefs felt like chains, dragging him down into a pit of darkness. The Agency's usual buzz had been replaced by an oppressive silence, and it chewed at Kunikida like an itch he couldn't get away. 

The absence of Dazai's lazy remarks and insistent charm made the office feel hollow.

"How could he do this?" Kunikida muttered under his breath, fingers curling into fists. He wanted to scream, to throw something, to shatter the silence with the force of his frustration. But instead, he remained frozen in place, paralyzed by the weight of his own emotions.

The truth was simple: he had failed. He had failed to save Dazai from himself. Utterly failed.

Each moment replayed in Kunikida's mind like a broken record. The late nights spent in the office, the endless conversations about justice, life, and the meaning of their work.

 Dazai had always been the wild card, the one who lived life on the edge, and Kunikida had thought he could keep him grounded. But in the end, he hadn't been enough.

Kunikida slammed his palm against the desk, the impact echoing in the stillness. His heart raced with anger—not just at Dazai, but at himself. He had seen the signs, had felt the shifts in Dazai's mood, the growing darkness behind his playful demeanor. Yet he had chosen to believe in the facade, the laughter, and the easy smiles.

"It should have been me," he hissed, voice low and trembling with fury. "I should have known better."

You always think you know everything, Dazai's voice echoed in his mind, dripping with sarcasm. That's your problem, Kunikida. You think you can save everyone.

The words stung, and Kunikida pressed his eyes shut, willing the memory to fade. Dazai had always been infuriatingly insightful, picking apart Kunikida's beliefs as easily as if they were threads in a worn tapestry. But now, those insights felt like knives, twisting in his gut, cutting deeper with every passing moment.

Kunikida's sense of justice had been his guiding light, but it was also a double-edged sword. The very ideals that had once kept him anchored now felt like shackles, chaining him to a reality he couldn't change. Dazai was gone, and no amount of righteous anger could bring him back.

With a shaky breath, Kunikida turned toward the window, staring out at the bustling city below. The world continued on, oblivious to his inner turmoil. Cars honked, pedestrians rushed by, and the sun shone brightly in a sky that felt utterly indifferent to his grief.

A sudden wave of anger surged through him, threatening to consume him whole. How could they carry on as if nothing had happened? Dazai had meant something—he had meant everything—and yet here was Kunikida, drowning in a sea of guilt while the world moved forward without a care.

He slammed his hands on the windowsill, knuckles white with the pressure. "You reckless idiot!" he shouted into the void, his voice breaking. "Why didn't you ask for help? Why didn't you—"

A heavy silence enveloped him, swallowing his words. Kunikida clenched his jaw, his heart racing with a mix of anger and sorrow. He was angry at Dazai for leaving him, for taking that choice away from everyone who cared about him. He was furious at himself for failing to see the signs and for not being able to save his friend from the darkness he had fought for so long.

But deep down, beneath the anger and the grief, there was a flicker of something darker—guilt. It seeped into his bones, reminding him that he had always believed in the power of justice, that he could bring about change through his unwavering will. But justice had failed him when it mattered most.

"Dazai..." Kunikida whispered, his voice cracking. "What do I do now?"

He had spent his life fighting for a better world, yet now he felt lost. Each breath felt heavy, laden with the knowledge that he hadn't been able to save Dazai. The world was filled with chaos, and he had dedicated himself to bringing order to it, but now that sense of purpose felt meaningless.

"Your ideals are meaningless if you can't protect the people you care about," Dazai's voice taunted again, the sharp edge of his words echoing in Kunikida's mind.

The truth stung more than the accusation. He had failed Dazai, and now he was left with nothing but the wreckage of his shattered beliefs.

With a surge of determination, Kunikida forced himself to stand straight. He couldn't remain here, wallowing in his anger and guilt. Dazai wouldn't have wanted that. He would have wanted Kunikida to act, to fight back against the darkness instead of succumbing to it.

"Enough," he said, voice steadying as he took a deep breath. "I won't let this break me."

But the anger remained, a fiery storm brewing inside him. He would find a way to honor Dazai's memory, to keep fighting for the ideals they had both believed in, even if it felt impossible. He would ensure that Dazai's reckless legacy wouldn't be forgotten.

Kunikida turned away from the window, his jaw set with determination. He had to move forward, even if the path was uncertain. He had to seek justice for his friend and confront the darkness that had claimed him.

As he stepped away from the window, Kunikida felt a familiar presence at his side. Dazai's ghostly form lingered, watching him with an intensity that felt almost suffocating. Kunikida couldn't see him, but he could feel him there, hovering just out of reach.

Dazai had always believed in the potential of chaos, and Kunikida had always fought against it. But now, that chaos was within him, a raging fire that threatened to overflow everything he held dear.

And in that moment, Kunikida realized the weight of his own worthlessness. He had always strived to be the one who saved others, the unwavering guardian of justice, but now he felt like a mere shadow of himself.

As he walked toward the door, his heart heavy with the burden of loss, he knew that the road ahead would be fraught with challenges. But he would face them head-on, fueled by the fury of his unyielding ideals.

Because in the end, Kunikida would make sure that Dazai's legacy lived on—even if it meant he had to fight against the very darkness Dazai had embraced.

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-1138 words-