-Language barrier-

Chapter Ten

Our apartement was filled with the usual chaos. The kitchen was cluttered with empty coffee mugs, takeout boxes stacked in the corner, and some random art supplies Giselle had left scattered around. They were always in the middle of some new creative project, their space a constant mess of colors and life. But it felt like home, even when things were messy—especially then.

I sat on the couch, fidgeting with the hem of my hoodie, my leg bouncing nervously. I'd been going over this conversation in my head all day, but now that I was here, sitting in front of Mary Lou and Giselle, I felt like my words were caught in my throat.

Mary Lou was lounging across from me, her legs draped over Giselle's lap, sipping on a beer, her sharp blue eyes watching me. She'd always been good at reading me, ever since we were kids. And now, she was definitely picking up on my nervous energy.

"What's up with you, Bilal? You're acting weird," she said, raising an eyebrow. "You didn't kill someone, did you?"

Giselle snorted, giving me a playful look. "Please, he'd never. He's too much of a softie."

I let out a nervous chuckle, shaking my head. "No, nothing like that. It's... it's something else."

Mary Lou sat up straighter, setting her beer down on the table. "Okay, spill. You look like you're about to explode."

I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. I'd never been good at talking about stuff like this. Mary Lou and Giselle were always so open, so unapologetically themselves. It wasn't as easy for me. But they were my people—if anyone would understand, it was them.

"So, there's this guy..." I started, my voice trailing off as I rubbed the back of my neck. Just saying it out loud made my heart race.

Mary Lou's eyes widened. "Wait, hold up Bilal, are you finally going to tell me you're in love with someone? After all this time?"

Giselle gave her a light shove. "Let him talk, Lou."

I nodded, letting out a nervous laugh. "Yeah well, his name's Martin."

At that, Mary Lou leaned forward, her eyes narrowing in curiosity. "Oh, Martin? That boy with the freckles you've been lowkey stalking for months? That Martin?"

I winced but nodded. "Yeah, that one."

Giselle smiled softly, sensing the seriousness behind my tone. "Okay, tell us more. What's going on with you two?"

I exhaled slowly, finally feeling ready to spill everything. "Well, a lot, actually. You know how I've been feeling confused about everything? About who I am, what I want?" They both nodded, giving me their full attention. "It's all been weighing on me—what my family expects, my faith, how I'm supposed to live. But with Martin... it's different. He makes me feel something I haven't felt before. And it scares the shit out of me."

I could see Mary Lou's face soften a little. She might act tough most of the time, but when it came down to it, she always had my back. "So, what happened?" she asked quietly.

I smiled, thinking back to the comic Martin had given me. "He asked me out."

Mary Lou's mouth dropped open. "He what? And what did you say?"

"I said yes." My voice was soft, almost uncertain, but there was a smile tugging at my lips. "I couldn't say no. I've been trying to ignore how I feel for a long time, but when he asked me... I realized that I really like him."

Giselle smiled wide, nudging Mary Lou with her elbow. "Oh my God, this is adorable. You said yes? You're going on a date with him?"

I nodded, feeling my cheeks heat up. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know what's going to happen, but... I want to try. I can't keep pretending I don't feel this way."

Mary Lou sat back, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well, damn. I did not see this coming."

I glanced at her nervously. "Is it weird? I mean, I know I haven't been the most open about... having something kinda serious."

Mary Lou rolled her eyes, though there was a hint of a smile on her face. "Bilal, you've been living in a bubble of confusion since we met. But I'm happy you're finally figuring your shit out. If this Martin guy makes you happy, then I'm all for it."

Giselle nodded in agreement. "You deserve to be happy, Bilal. Whatever that looks like. And if that means going on a date with that cute boy, then so be it."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding, relief flooding through me. I should've known they'd react like this. I'd been overthinking it, worrying that maybe they wouldn't get it, that I'd sound like I was lost in some fantasy I didn't know how to navigate. But they were my people. They always had my back.

"There's just one thing," I said after a moment, my smile fading a little. "I still don't know how to deal with all of this. My family... they expect me to get married to a nice Muslim girl, settle down, do everything right. And my faith... I want to be true to it, but I don't know how to reconcile these feelings with what I believe."

Mary Lou sighed, leaning back on the couch. "Your family's always going to expect certain things from you. That's just how it is. But this is your life, Bilal. You have to figure out what makes you happy, not just what makes them happy."

Giselle nodded, her expression soft. "And as for your faith, that's something only you can work through. You're allowed to have these feelings, to be confused, to ask questions. Faith isn't supposed to be easy, right? It's about finding your own path."

I nodded, feeling the weight of her words. They were right. This wasn't about what anyone else wanted for me. It was about figuring out who I was, what made me feel whole, and how to live in a way that was true to myself.

"I just don't want to disappoint anyone," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

Mary Lou snorted. "Disappoint? Who cares? People get disappointed every day. The only one who needs to be satisfied with your life is you."

Giselle smiled, placing a hand on my arm. "You'll figure it out, Bilal. Just take it one step at a time."

I looked between the two of them, my heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks. Maybe they were right. Maybe I didn't need to have all the answers right now. Maybe it was okay to just... feel. To explore whatever this was with Martin and see where it took me.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn't trapped. Like there was room to breathe, room to explore what I wanted without feeling suffocated by expectations.

"Thanks, guys," I said softly, my voice thick with emotion. "I really needed this."

Mary Lou grinned, reaching for her beer again. "Don't mention it. Just don't screw it up with Martin, alright? He seems like a good one."

I laughed, shaking my head. "I'll try my best."

For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt a little bit of hope. Maybe I didn't have everything figured out yet, but that was okay. I had my friends, I had my faith, and now... I had Martin.

That was enough for now.