James Marriott x WillNE

Over and over

James' POV

Will kissed her and looked at me while he did it as if it wouldn't absolutely eat my heart alive to see it happen. He owes me nothing and yet I keep consistently getting myself into these situations where I fall so hard without knowing until it's too late. Because I've realised I do love Will more than he thinks I do. But I postponed the shoot regardless because the idea of seeing him tomorrow would kill me.

I'm trying to come to terms with it all. Will owes me nothing and I still feel like the image of him kissing her could make me sick. It almost does. Every time it pops into my head I realise that if I had just spoken my mind sooner maybe things wouldn't be so bad. There's an outcome that could have been us no longer being friends because he was weirded out or because we became something else and my brain is reeling at the thought.

I called George to come over. George M. He and I enjoyed our time on the Eboys together and well.. he's a close friend. He said he was in the area so I practically begged him to come over. George is probably one of the only people I can tell about my thing with Will and know that he won't tell a soul.

"Is it Will?" Is the first thing he says to me. He hasn't even stepped into my house and he already knows. I huff out a breath and nod, letting him come inside and settle down on my sofa. And then it just spills out of me. All of it. I tell him everything. All the excruciating details about my infatuation for Will because the feeling of it leaving me makes my heart feel lighter. And when George stares at me once i've finished talking I realise how much there was to say.

"Yeah. You got it bad." George mutters and leans back a little, getting himself comfy as he thinks of what to say next. "He looked at you while he did it?"

"Yep. It's like.. he wanted me to know exactly how little of a chance I had." George huffs in disagreement, and I raise a brow in astonishment. "You disagree? George, he jokes about it like being gay is so far away from his agenda that it's laughable."

"Or you were enough to break his focus from her. He was drinking, James." George is giving me hope, and hope is dangerous. Hope means that when I walk into that studio building in London on Saturday and tell Will everything because I truly believe that it will make a difference.

"Or he was being mean." George says jokingly but I can tell he's fed up. I can tell this isn't what he wanted to do today, so instead we film the video where we try different biscuits and for a moment I forget about Will.