↱SEMPITERNAL↲ ⇾seongjoong⇽

twenty six

Present Day, Seoul

He doesn't think it's possible for anyone to be as much of a loser as he is.

Honestly.

Nothing happened in Chiang Mai.

But that wasn't his fault.

Seonghwa got so sick and threw up so many times he almost passed out, and that's really the wrong time to ask someone out.

That's one thing the whole world can agree on.

Their new song had just dropped.

Nothing happened after that.

That wasn't his fault either.

Everyone was stretched so thin, Hongjoong was surprised they didn't snap like a rubber band pulled too tight.

But now they're on the tail end of promotions.

He can do this, right?

He can.

He totally can.

He's lying in bed wrapped up in his blanket, his phone almost pressed to his face because he's afraid who'll see.

Mingi's grumbling something at him.

"Huh?" He says.

"What are you doing? Get some sleep," Mingi says.

"I don't deserve sleep," he mumbles. "I'm a loser and losers don't deserve anything."

"The hell," Mingi mumbles, but he's too tired to ask what he's on about.

He doesn't know, that Hongjoong's scrolling through the comments on Holland's debut.

On Naver, on youtube, on every gossipy website he knows, he's looking at the comments, it's about 70 - 30, he guesses.

70 percent happy and proud, 30 percent disgusted and nasty.

70 - 30, those odds are good, he thinks.

If he asks Seonghwa out and he says yes and they start secretly dating and fall disgustingly in love and everyone finds out because they're bad at keeping their emotions off their stupid faces and they're already looking at each other like love lorn teenagers.

Then 70 percent of people will be happy for them.

30 percent will tell them they should kill themselves.

Fuck, no, there's another angle to this.

Idols secretly dating, that's career death in this industry.

Alright, no, 50-50. 40-60?

Maybe.

And even if they have to leave Ateez and KQ and pursue solo careers, there's crowdfunding, and there's always international fans.