Fragments of Us.

Part 5

It's been three months since Brandon and I have been "getting to know each other." Yeah, that's probably the best way to describe it. He takes me out on dates, I spend most of my time at his place, and we've gotten into a rhythm. He's honestly the sweetest guy under all that grumpiness, but still, I'm confused. After all this time, he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend.

We do all the typical couple stuff—cooking together at his house, going out frequently, even syncing our routines around my class timetable. But every time things start to heat up between us, he pulls back. Like today.

We were making out, and I initiated it. And then, he rejected me. Rejected. The embarrassment burned through me—suppose him nuh even like me? He got up like nothing happened, said he was going to grab some food so we could continue our movie night.

Nah, mi cyaan manage dat. I gathered my things, called an Uber, and went home. Shame was literally eating me alive.

Now here I am, lying in bed, my phone screen glowing as I hover over our chat. I'm in the convo with Brandon, but I don't even know what to say. How do I explain that I left without making him think something's wrong? I type out a quick message, hoping for the best.

saija: Hi, I had to leave, but let me know when you get home safely.

Within seconds, he responds.

brandon ❤️: What do you mean you had to leave?
brandon ❤️: Where are you?

Lawd, him vex now fi true. My stomach twists as I quickly type a reply.

saija: Ddra needed me, so I'm back on campus.

He's gonna take this the wrong way, I just know it. Sure enough...

brandon ❤️: I would have taken you. Hope everything is alright.
brandon ❤️: I'm going to bring your food to you.

Oh God, nuh him just shame mi a while ago and now he wants to bring food? My heart races as I try to come up with something to stop him.

saija: No, it's fine. She needs me right now.

There's a pause, and I hold my breath. Then his reply comes in, a little more reserved.

brandon ❤️: Ah. Call me when you're free.

Suh why him a behave so? I'm over here trying to recover from the embarrassment, and he's acting like nothing happened. It's like he doesn't even realize what just went down—or worse, he doesn't care.

I sigh, staring at the screen. What am I supposed to do now? Keep pretending like everything's fine when it clearly isn't? Or should I finally ask him what's really going on?

I sighed and shot Ddra a quick text to let her know to pick up for me if anything came up. We texted back and forth for a bit, mostly about Greg. It wasn't a surprise that they got back together—they were high school sweethearts, after all. Now, she's always at his place, so we rarely hang out in person anymore. But we still keep in touch, especially through FaceTime and TikTok.

After a while, I took out my books and started studying. Brandon's always on me about schoolwork, especially when I'm at his place. It gets annoying sometimes, but I know he's just looking out for me. He takes it seriously, maybe more than I do at times.

Hours passed, and I stood up to stretch, checking my phone. There was a message from Brandon: "You okay?"

Should I call him? I thought, hesitating. Part of me wanted to, but the other part of me couldn't shake off the doubt swirling in my mind.