Sugar sugar baby

[45] A new course

I had spent the better part of the day pacing around my room, trying to figure out my next move. After the tense conversation with my mom, I knew I couldn't keep spinning my wheels forever. It was time for a change, a real plan. I wasn't going to go back to Vanessa with empty hands and the same old story. I needed to do something that meant something.

And that's when it hit me: psychology.

I'd always been fascinated by the way people thought, the reasons behind their actions, and after everything I had been through—both personally and professionally—it seemed like a path I could really get behind. I wasn't some kid fresh out of college anymore, aimlessly hopping between ideas. I wanted to dive into something meaningful, something that would give me the tools to understand people better, including myself.

The only problem? Money.

I didn't have it. I couldn't ask my parents for more support—not after moving back in with them. And I sure as hell didn't want to ask Vanessa for more after everything she'd already done for me. But, deep down, I knew I couldn't make this happen without her help.

So that night, I found myself standing outside Vanessa's mansion, my palms sweaty, trying to work up the courage to ask her. I had been avoiding leaning on her again, especially after walking away from the company she had invested so much in. But this... this felt different. I wasn't asking for a handout. I was asking for a chance.

I knocked on the door, and the familiar feeling of stepping back into her world hit me as soon as Lorenzo opened it. He didn't say anything, just gave me that knowing nod and waved me in. I headed straight for the living room, where Vanessa was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine, looking like she'd stepped out of a magazine ad—relaxed, poised, but with that sharpness in her eyes that always made me a little nervous.

"Tristan," she said, smiling as I walked in. "I wasn't expecting you. Is everything okay?"

I forced a smile, trying to shake off the nerves. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just... I needed to talk to you about something."

Vanessa raised an eyebrow, setting her glass down on the table in front of her. "That sounds serious. Come, sit."

I sat down across from her, feeling the weight of what I was about to ask settle over me. "It is serious," I admitted, running a hand through my hair. "I've been thinking a lot about where I'm headed, and I realized I need to make a real change. I want to do something different with my life."

Her eyes softened a little, but there was still that edge of curiosity. "Different? Like what?"

I took a deep breath, deciding to just rip the band-aid off. "I want to go back to school. I want to get a master's degree in psychology."

Vanessa's expression didn't change, but I could see the gears turning in her head. She was always calculating, always thinking several steps ahead. "Psychology," she repeated, leaning back slightly. "That's... unexpected."

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "It probably is, but after everything I've been through—everything we've been through—I think it's the right path for me. I've always been interested in how people think, why they do the things they do. And after the company, after dealing with all that pressure and failing, I feel like I need to understand myself better too."

Vanessa was quiet for a moment, her eyes scanning my face like she was trying to read between the lines. "I can see why you'd want to pursue that," she said slowly. "But why now?"

"Because I need something more," I admitted, my voice quiet but firm. "I can't keep drifting like this. I need to take control of my life, and I think psychology is the way to do it. I want to help people, to understand them. And I want to understand myself. I've made so many mistakes, but maybe if I can study this, I can actually do something worthwhile."

She nodded, still looking thoughtful. "So, what's the problem?"

And here came the hard part.

"I don't have the money," I said bluntly, feeling the weight of the words as soon as they left my mouth. "I don't have anything right now. And I know I've asked a lot from you already, but... I need your help."

Vanessa's gaze didn't waver, but I could see the slightest hint of surprise in her eyes. She didn't interrupt, so I kept going.

"I don't want a handout," I said quickly. "I'm not asking for that. I'll pay you back—every penny. I just need a loan to get started, to cover tuition and living expenses while I go back to school. Once I'm done and I have a job, I'll pay you back. I promise."

She sat there, quiet for a few long seconds, and I couldn't tell what she was thinking. It made my heart race, the silence growing heavier with each passing moment. But then, finally, she spoke.

"Tristan," she said softly, her voice gentler than I expected. "You don't have to pay me back."

I blinked, confused. "What?"

She smiled, leaning forward slightly. "I want to help you. I've always wanted to help you. You don't need to make promises or worry about paying me back. If this is what you want—what you really want—then I'll support you."

I stared at her, my heart pounding in my chest. "You... you'd really do that? Just like that?"

Vanessa nodded, her expression warm but serious. "Of course. You've been through a lot, Tristan, and if going back to school is what will help you find your way, then I'll do whatever I can to make that happen. I believe in you."

The relief that washed over me was overwhelming. I hadn't realized just how much I needed her support—how much I needed someone to believe in me, even when I didn't fully believe in myself. I let out a long breath, running a hand through my hair again.

"Thank you," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything," she replied, smiling softly. "Just focus on what's next. And when you're ready, we'll make sure you're set up for success."

I nodded, still in disbelief that she had agreed so easily. "I won't let you down."

"I know you won't," Vanessa said, her voice confident. "But Tristan, remember—you don't have to do this alone. I'm here for you, whatever you need."

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders that I hadn't even realized was there. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had a clear direction. I was going to go back to school. I was going to study psychology. And with Vanessa's help, I was finally going to get my life back on track.

Q: What would be your dream college subject?