Autumn sped down the motorway, going well over the speed limit. She hadn't done this in a while. As a teen, driving fast cars was a sort of coping mechanism. The adrenaline from speeding was the only thing that made her feel alive. Was. That was until she met Marjorie, the woman who can't even look at her anymore. The thought of Marjorie being hurt by her made Autumn feel sick.
The only reason she slept with Sara was because she thought Marjorie was straight. She thought that it would help her move on from the woman but instead, it just made everything 10 times worse for the both of them. When she was at that bar with Marjorie, she spent the entire night trying to distract herself from the fact that she was sat in a booth, pressed up against the woman she had become infatuated with. No, infatuated wasn't the right word. Marjorie wasn't just a passing interest for Autumn. She wasn't just the woman that she wanted to take home with her. She wanted to wake up next to her. She wanted to spend every day showing Marjorie how much she meant to her. She was everything.
Autumn slowed down her car and pulled into a spot right by the pier. As she rolled down her window, she took a deep breath, the salty-sea air relaxing her and her mind. Her brain was almost empty as she watched the water crash against the land and cliffs. The only thing on her mind was the look on Marjorie's face when she asked her to leave. Her eyes were red and puffy, remnants of the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes but as she shut the door in Autumn's face, her expression was cold. She had no tears left. She looked empty and hurt. She was done with Autumn and that broke her heart. Autumn reached into her purse and pulled out her phone, staring at Marjorie's contact. The photo was a picture of Autumn, Marjorie and Autumn's cat, Cadaver, perched on carefully the sofa behind them as she napped. It was Autumn's favourite picture, not only of Marjorie but of herself. It's the only picture she has where she's smiling. That's the effect Marjorie had on her. She made her happy and that made Autumn realise that she had never felt truly happy or loved before. She never wanted that feeling to stop.
Taking a deep breath Autumn opened her messages with Marjorie. She didn't want to tell the woman how she felt about her over text so instead, she asked her to meet up.
Autumn: Hey. I know that you don't want to talk to me and that is completely understandable. However, I didn't get a chance to tell you how I feel. I don't really do emotions but I still want you to know how I feel, even if you never wanted to speak to me again. Can we meet at my place for a chat?
Marjorie: Fine but I'm not coming to your house. Meet me at the cafe near my flat in 20 minutes.
Autumn let out a sigh of relief and turned on her engine. They were going to talk. She sped down the road hoping she'd make it back to the cafe in time. As she watched the street lamps and passers by whip past her speeding jaguar, she tried to plan out what she wanted to say. There were no words in the English language to express how she felt about Marjorie. She felt like they were bonded. Connected. Soulmates.
Autumn stepped into the cafe and scanned the room, spotting Marjorie drinking tea in a corner booth. She walked over and sat opposite the woman, pulling her jacket over the back of the chair. "Hey." Marjorie said, placing her mug down in front of her. "What exactly did you want to say? I'd much rather be in bed watching sappy films right now."
Autumn took a deep breath and tried to remember the speech she planned out on the drive over but her mind went blank. She looked at Marjorie and decided to just go for it and say what she felt. "First of all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I don't know if you've noticed but I'm not great with emotions, my own or other people's but I care for you deeply and will try to be better. If I'm honest, I didn't realise that my taking Sara home would hurt you. I just wanted to move on."
Marjorie started at Autumn, face painted with confusion. "What do you mean you wanted to 'move on'?" She asked. Autumn sighed and thought for a moment, trying to find the right words.
"I thought that my feelings towards you would be obvious by now. I don't like people. I don't like to dance or sing karaoke. I don't like any of that but when you ask me, it doesn't matter anymore because, well, you make me happy. I spend every waking moment of my days thinking about you. Is that not a gigantic red flashing sign that I have feelings for you?" Autumn said as she poured some coffee into her cup. Marjorie just stared, realisation hitting her. "I slept with... that woman because I thought it might help me move on. I assumed you were straight." Autumn sipped her coffee as she watched Marjorie. "Well I am straight. I think. I actually don't know if I'm honest. I just know that what you did, it hurt." Marjorie said, staring into her tea. "That doesn't sound like a very heterosexual reaction." Autumn smirked and leaned back in her seat. Marjorie just rolled her eyes. "So are we okay?" Autumn asked, searching Marjorie's face for a clue of how she was feeling. The woman took a sip of tea and looked up at Autumn. "No, not yet but I think we can get there. You're gonna have to work for it." She smiled and stood up, grabbing her coat. "I've got to head off. My bitch of a deputy manager will be on my arse if I'm late tomorrow!" She smirked and slipped on her rain coat.
Autumn walked Marjorie to the end of her road and waved her goodbye. This was great. Well not great, it was better. Great would be Autumn spending every hour wrapped in Marjorie's embrace but that wasn't going to happen. The words Marjorie said rang in her head. She didn't even know how she felt about Autumn. Not because she was unsure if they would work or one of the the million other reasons that Autumn would be okay with. It was because she was straight and that is not something she could deal with. Autumn didn't want to be an experiment. Not again.
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A/N
Very late upload. I've been a little stressed and knackered recently but hopefully I'll manage to get some more chapters out this week! 🙏🏽🩶
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Masquerade || A Marjumn Story
FanfictionThe masquerade ball at the Knight Family Estate was set to be the same as it was every year. Autumn arrived thinking she would spend the night wallowing alone and god was she wrong.
