Bet On Us (BATB Series #1)

chapter 27

Why do celebrations and happiness seem to have grief and sadness as a consequence? Can't just a person be too happy and that that happiness wouldn't be immediately taken by grief?

The morning I woke up the next day didn't look the same. The sunset seemed to hide behind the clouds and the atmosphere was off. Everything felt different so I got up from my bed and went downstairs.

Nasa hagdan pa lang ako, nakita ko na kaagad ang mga magulang ko sa sala. Si Lolo rin na nakaupo at nakaharap sa kanila. Dad's arm was wrapped around my mother's shoulder while mom was bowing her head, holding a white envelope.

When I came near them, that was the only time I realized they were crying. Mom was sobbing, Dad's eyes were red, and Lolo? He was crying with no tears, just his eyes telling so much of the grief he was feeling.

My stomach felt something. It felt like it turned upside down. The heartbeats against my chest fastened, my breathing became hard. The feeling worsen when my mother stood up and hugged me.

She was shaking, her sobs were loud, her breath was unsteady while her hand managed to hand me the white envelope she was holding.

I didn't talk. I stared at it long enough before deciding to finally accept it. I took it from my mother's hand. There was something inside me that built up. The nervousness across my chest worsened. My system began to shake. My hands were unsteady as I looked at the envelope.

"For everyone," was written on it.

I shakily opened the white paper and took out another piece of neatly folded one. My eyes started to become misty. The heaviness inside me gotten worse. I felt like I was tortured. There was a pang of pain in my heart, putting my system off.

I unfolded the letter and tried to read what was written inside even when my eyes were already blurry because of the tears forming.

To my beloved family,

I have been fighting this battle for so long so I hope you would be able to accept the fact that I gave up on it because I'm already old, old enough to stopped fighting. It was a hard decision to not take any medicines and refuse to go to a doctor but I already knew that there was no way I will going to survive this. I no longer see myself fighting for my life.

Salome, apo, I know that you already knew this the moment we went back here from States. You remained quiet because you don't want to let me know that you already knew it. But as the days went by, I finally realized that you knew it already. And I respect the decision that you kept it within yourself. I know how much you will miss and how much you will cry for my sudden good bye, but I hope you will accept my decision. Apo ko, it has been a pleasure to be your grandmother and if there was another lifetime, I would always end up choosing you to be my grandchild again and again. I love you so much.

To everyone else, I know you guys were sad right now but please, wipe up that tears streaming down your eyes because I am already happy. I am happy with my decision and so I hope you can all accept it.

I have few favors:

Please, don't announce my death on any social media platforms.

Don't inform everyone else about it.

Cremate my body.

Lastly, ayoko ng burol. Ayaw ko ng isang linggong iyakan. Ayoko ng lahat kayo tutuluan ng luha ang kabaong dahil sa desisyong napili ko. I want my body to be cremated immediately.

I hope you will all grant my wish.

With all my love,

Matilda