Lorkhan's Eclipse [A Skyrim Fanfiction]

10. Draugr

"Put me down! We have to go back!"

"We can't, not yet," Hadvar says, turning around to check behind us, but grunts as I kick him dangerously close to his sensitive areas. "Brighid, stop fighting me!"

"We can't leave them! Killian is back there! And Hjeralt and Ralof!"

We're back up in the upper chamber now, where Hadvar stopped me just before. The monstrous spider isn't following us, thank god, but I keep trying to get free of Hadvar's hold.

"Brighid, if you keep struggling you're gonna hurt both of us!"

I feel a breath catch in my throat, feel my eyes burning. No, no, no, not now!

I stop fighting instead clinging to Hadvar's shoulders. He seems to falter before shifting, setting me back on my feet. I stumble, the webbing clinging to my boots sticking to the ground, and he holds me against him as I give in to the tears. I need to act; I can't waste time on this!

I feel him starting to pick at the web that's sticking to my hair, my armour, whatever he can reach without being immodest.

"Brighid, you have to listen to me," Hadvar says softly, pulling away as he takes me by the shoulders, looking at me earnestly. "We need a plan to take the thing on. It's too fast for a simple attack – Hjeralt and Ralof were bitten, and I'd be surprised if Killian wasn't as well."

I look up at him, feeling like there's suddenly ice in my chest. Bitten?

"The venom's a paralytic, it won't kill them," he tells me, and I realise the heart-stopping fear I just felt must have shown on my face. "But we need a plan to take it on, otherwise we're just going to end up the same. Alright?"

I nod slowly, trying to shove the panic down somewhere much deeper. I can't, though, and feel myself starting to shake.

Hadvar pulls me close and I completely ignore the sticky webbing on his armour as I cling to him, letting the stress tears take over for a few moments. This is stupid, this is so stupid. I need to get over this – there's so many bigger issues to worry about right now, but my mind is racing with worst-case scenarios and everything in me wants to just break apart.

I want to go home.

I fixate on a memory of Mum. Long, dark curls framing a round, smiling face. Fair skin dotted with freckles, each one like a memory on its own. For a brief moment, I can pretend that I'm not covered in spider web, clinging to some guy I met two days ago at the end of the world in an alien place where even the laws of physics are broken. Just for a moment, I can pretend that I'm somewhere safe, comfortable, with a friend consoling me through an anxiety attack.

Just for a moment, though.

"I don't want to rush you, but we need to move fast," Hadvar says softly, pulling away. I go to rub at my face but webbing has stuck to my hands as well, and we both look down to see that we're sort of being stuck together. I snort softly, the absurdity getting past the stress.

"I-I can shoot," I tell him, as we both start to pull the web off us. Once my hands are clean, I rub at my face as the tears disappear again. I remember reading somewhere that it takes about ninety seconds for your body to emotionally process a situation, and the longer you hold off on letting it process the more time it'll need later. I have to remind myself that, even though I feel like it's weak and I hate it, I should be grateful that my body doesn't really give me an alternative to processing emotions like others.

"I think I know how we can wear it down," he says, turning his own attention to his gear. "You step in, shoot at it and get its attention. When it charges, you fall back through that archway and I'll try getting it through the gap. It couldn't follow us before, so we can use that to our advantage."