To my very best friend

Bondi photoshoot

"I'm coming back to Sydney for a bit."

Connor's words played over and over in my head for days after his phone call. The company he is modelling for requested a beach photoshoot, emphasising that they're looking for the 'classic Aussie vibe'. And what could be more reminiscent of the Aussie beach scene than Bondi beach? So a photoshoot at Bondi beach to launch the company's swimwear line is in the plans, and Connor gets to be the model for it. 

'So when is he coming over?' I read Layla's text during my dinner break at work. 

'In about a month's time.' I texted back in between bites of my dinner.

'So will he be staying with you? what's our living situation going to be like?'

'Nah, he's staying in a hotel, the agency he's under is covering flights and accomodation.' 

'Oh okay sweet! Are you excited?!' Layla replied.

'Yeah! I haven't seen him in ages! I can't wait!' 

How long has it been since Connor and I last spent our days together? It's been nearly a decade since we were a couple back in high school. We had never done anything beyond holding hands - I wanted to wait until marriage. My overly religious family approved of our relationship, as long as we kept things PG-13. I wanted to hold him again in my arms, the thought of us finally being together again was so overwhelmingly exciting that I had trouble focusing at work sometimes.

"Welcome back! have you guys planned any dates?! any family hangouts?" Layla's chipper tone helped to ease the exhaustion caused by work, and I felt myself relax as I finally settled on the sofa beside her. 

"We planned to meet up with the whole family at his dad's farm. It's a huge property, and my family was also invited for a weekend get-together." To be honest, I was also planning to hang out in the city for a little while before he get's busy with work. Nothing crazily overwhelming, just a dinner date and hangout to enjoy each others' presence. 

 I showed Layla some photos of Connor's family farm from their website to give her an idea of where I'll be staying. It's a mid-sized cattle farm, and the property is surrounded by flat, grassy land and eucalyptus trees. His family specialised in farming dairy cows, and growing up my family always got fresh dairy products from his family - not only did my family become loyal customers, but I was also praised for finding them a good network. 

 Layla offered to step out of the apartment for a day so Connor and I could get some alone time together at my place, but I reassured her that it won't be necessary, explaining my reasoning. 

"So, like, you've never done it?! Like at all? Ever? Not even in secret?" Layla was astonished to hear that I was still a virgin. 

"No, not even in secret. I always end up feeling guilty since I made a promise, and things just tend to get awkward after that. I just don't find it very comfortable." Was the explanation I gave to Layla.

To be completely honest, I never really felt the urge to have sex with him in the first place. Not to say I don't have urges at all ever, I do get them sometimes, but it's not a focal point of what my relationship with Connor is like. For the most part, the focus had always been on spending quality time together. We would study together during school hours, eat our lunch together, and hang out on the weekends at the local shopping centre and cafes. He left within a year after we graduated, and neither of us really had the chance to meet up after that due to our busy schedules. For all of these years we were constantly keeping in touch online as a long distance couple. It was difficult at first, with the time difference and the loneliness, but we were determined to make it work any way we could. I truly love him with every fibre of my heart, and couldn't bear the thought of ever losing him.