Sugar

ch 10 ★

The album was done within a few months, the launch party was  hosted at Jonte's place, cozy but still vibrant with a rockstar energy. 

I step inside anxiously, heading straight for the kitchen where I find Ecco, "Oh thank God." He looks up, smiling as he gestures for me to come closer. "Hey! You good? relax, you made it." 

I take a deep breath and nod, smiling at him. "Thank you for inviting me Zak. Are you sure I should be here though?" He laughs softly, placing a hand on my shoulder and passing me his drink, "Don't be silly, you helped make this album what it is!" I look up at him, "Do you have drugs?" 

He quirks an eyebrow at me, a grin spreading across his face, I take him by the sleeve towards the bathroom and lock the door behind us. 

"What are you wanting?" He asks, paging through his diesel purse. I rub my temples, and hold out my hand without looking up, "Dealers choice." 

I knock back whatever it was he gave me and he smiles mischievously as he follows suite. I smile back.

"Thank you" I say as I open the bathroom door, only to find Jonte leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "Please tell me you were just doing drugs." 

I nod, "Yeah. Hi Jonte." He glances back at me, his expression inscrutiable. "So you two aren't involved in any way?" I shuffle my feet unsure of what to say, "What?! I mean no, right?" Jonte sighs and shakes his head. 

"Things are just confusing with me and Benjamin, and I think that's just translating to us. Don't worry I'll try talk to him tonight." I explain. Jonte's brow furrows, his eyes flicking over me with a hint of suspicion, "Wait, what's confusing with you and Bladee?" 

"Well, we haven't spoken since he fired me..." Jonte looks both surprised and angry to hear this, "He fired you? Why? You were great, you helped him finish the album!"

"What? No I didn't? We were probably like halfway done when we had that fight..." There's an awkward beat of silence. "What was that you said? I helped finish the album?" My eyes flash with realization, "Zak?" He stiffens, "Yeah?" 

My voice is barely a whisper as I work it out, "He used my ideas.. I left my folder there and you guys took it.. That's why he said I helped him finish it." Jonte's expression shifts from surprise to irritation as he looks at Ecco who has shoved his hands in his pockets. "You're kidding me, is that true, Zak?" Ecco anxiously runs his hand along his durag, "Yeah but.. We're giving you credit for that.." 

I shake my head in dismay, "Why would he fire me, then use all my ideas like, I may as well have been there." 

"That's bullshit," Jonte scoffs, "And what about you Ecco? You just laid back and let him pull that shit?" Ecco fidgets, not moving his eyes from the floor. "Yeah. I'm sorry." 

Jonte's tone is exasperated, "She puts in all this work and-" 

"Thank you Jonte," I cut him off "That means a lot but it's not his fault, so I think.. I think I should go talk to Benjamin." His expression softens to concern and he glances back over his shoulder, "You sure that's a good idea? Right now?" 

"Do you know where he is?" "Uhh, by the bar." I set off. Once I get around the corner I lean against the wall for balance and take a deep breath, whatever I took is working, I guess. 

Bladee is at the bar, sipping a drink and talking to a few industry people. He looks deep in conversation, until he notices me and his expression flickers with surprise. "Hey what's up."

"Hey, congratulations on the album, I'm.. excited to hear the final product." He sets down his drink and turns to face me fully. "Oh, uh, thanks. I'm excited for people to hear it." 

I inhale, trying to contain myself. "Can we talk?" He eyes me warily, sensing the undertone in my voice but still gestures for me to follow him outside. We're alone in the courtyard. 

"So Ecco told me you're giving me credit on Serenade." 

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course. You helped a lot, wouldn't have finished it without you." 

I grit my teeth. "Cause you used my file." I look up, shooting him a challenging look. His tone is defensive, "Well yeah, they were good ideas, you should be glad that I recognized that." 

"Why would you fire me then use my ideas Benjamin? You should have just had me there!" He looks away, his jaw tightening. "I needed to focus. And your ideas were less of a fucking distraction without you attached." I scoff, offended. I try to make eye contact but my head is buzzing.

"God, what is it? Why do you have to act like you fucking hate me?!" He finally meets my gaze, his irritation showing, "Because you're always on my case when I'm a grown ass man, I can handle myself." 

"Yeah 'cause you hired me to do that! You're fucking impossible." I mutter, sitting back against the brick wall. He stares me down, "You're damn right, you can't expect me to be all understanding and accommodating when I have work to do!" 

Sitting down makes my head spin and I can only stifle a giggle, which catches him off guard. He eyes me with suspicion. "Are.. Are you high right now?" 

I grin and nod slowly in response. He looks at me in disbelief. "Jesus Christ where did you get drugs from?" "Ecco." I answer cooly. 

His irritation returns, "Of course. What did you guys take?" I shrug, "Roulette." Benjamin rolls his eyes, "Roulette? You're joking, right? You don't even know what you're on right now?!" I lean my head back and laugh, "Are you worried about me?" 

His brows knot, both annoyed and concerned. "Worried? Of course I'm worried!" I giggle again and feign anger, echoing his words. "Ben I don't need you to baby sit me, I'm a grown ass woman" "Oh, for the love of- I'm not trying to baby sit you, I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on with you and you being high off your ass isn't helping!" I grin and raise my eyebrows without opening my eyes, "Mhm, see? It's frustrating right?" 

He falters for a moment, his frustration stalling as he realizes what I'm saying, this is exactly how I felt. I gesture for him to sit with me. 

"I don't want you to hate me.." I mumble softly. He looks out over the city, "I don't. Frustrated, confused.. But hate? No." 

I gingerly rest my head against his shoulder, "About what?" 

"You. You drive me insane one minute and then I can't get you out of my head the next, and, I don't know how to deal with those two things existing in the same person. I chuckle softly "Well I'm glad it's mutual." 

He looks at me, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "That's putting it lightly, you have no idea how many times I've wanted to shake you senseless and kiss you senseless at the same time." 

"What like right now?" 

His eyes rake over me, taking me in. He takes a deep breath and moves in a bit closer, his voice dropping to a husky tone. "Yeah, like right now." 

Benjamin's breath hitches as I lean in. His hand moves to cup my face, his thumb tracing the outline of my lips, leaning in until our faces almost touch. His voice is a whisper, "You're high, you shouldn't- we shouldn't..." I smile, "Then stop me."