Sugar

ch 9 :3

He locks eyes with me, "Why do you care so much?" 

My heat rate quickens. "I don't know.. I guess I thought we worked well together..." "Thought?" He echos, "So, you were wrong huh? clearly we don't mesh at all?" 

I anxiously pick at the skin on my fingertips, ignoring his tone. "Well maybe creatively, but not personally." He exhales, frustrated. "Right so that's what you think." 

My eyes well up and my voice is caught in my throat, so I turn away. "I mean you yelled at me.." He sighs, "I know.. it was a dick move but I said I'm sorry and I don't know it just felt suffocating." I shake my head, sniffling, "I don't get it.. you come out here to get me then call me suffocating? Like, what am I supposed to do Benjamin?" 

He looks at me, a mixture of frustration and helplessness in his gaze. He sighs heavily and rubs his temples, "I don't know what you're supposed to do. I don't know what I want, I don't know what I need. I feel like I'm all over the place like, one minute I want you close and then the next I can't stand it." I pull my hair back off of my face and chuckle, taking a deep breath, "This is hurting my feelings man, I kinda need you to figure it out." 

"You don't think I would if I knew?! I mean it's hurting my feelings too! I'm sorry, okay? I know I need to figure it out, I just don't know how." My voice is barely a whisper when I reply; "Maybe you and Ecco should keep working and I'll just stay out of your way.." 

"I just need some more space to figure things out."

 I nod, keeping my gaze fixed on my shoes as he goes back inside. 

"How'd it go?" Ecco shifts his headphones and turns away from his laptop screen to face Bladee, his brows furrowed with concern.

 "She's gonna give me space. Which is.. what I wanted." He sighs, flopping onto the couch. 

"I dunnoooo.. Is it? Wasn't space like half the problem?" Benjamin scowls at the question, "Yeah, yeah, yeah okay, shut up. I Know. But what do you want me to do huh? confess and apologize and spill out my feelings like a lovesick fool?" Ecco shrugs sheepishly, "Yeah. Maybe you should."

Benjamin rolls his eyes, "It's just.. easier said than done." Zak grins, "Nah I get it, you're like her boss so it'd be a super weird power dynamic, you should really just keep it professional." His tone is dripping with sarcasm which Benjamin tactically ignores. "Exactly. It's a bad idea and it won't work. Can we please forget about it and get back to this?" 

"Yeah, let's get this album done so you never have to see her again." Bladee's heart drops at the realization, but he stays quiet. 

"This your folder here?" Ecco asks, picking it up from under some clutter on the table, he opens the first page, cocking his head with a soft "Oh.." He hands it over to Benji, who flips through it eyeing the collages, colours, sketches.. "Yeah she.. she's really thought it all out huh" Zak sucks his teeth, neglecting to reply. "What's with that look? Just say what you're thinking man." 

"I mean.. they're good ideas.. She clearly cares about this."  Bladee sighs, running his hands through his hair, "Yeah, no. I'll give her that, but I don't want to care, I can't care, like.. I can't get attached man." 

Zak's eyes widen, "So what, she's fired?" Bladee looks at him, hating the words on his tongue but maintaining a stoic facade, "Yeah. I need to focus on the album, not this... Whatever this is." Ecco opens his mouth to argue but decides against it, instead just nodding and leaning back in his chair with a deep breath.