Sugar

Part 5?!

I don't spend much time in the flat after they leave, I gather some materials and head back to mine. I spend a few hours painting, airbrushing and assembling some of our ideas before gathering them all into one folder. A piece of paper slips out, I recognise Benjamin's handwriting, 'Jag hittar mig själv genom dig, helt ny.'  Me.. my.. you? Oh man I don't remember much Swedish.. I think to myself, my eyes scanning for any words I recognise to string together a sentence, but it's really no use. 

I check my phone less and less as hours pass. It's two fucking days before I finally get a text. "hey, at the park on belleway, come thru :p" 

I scoff a little, reminding myself I can't get mad about it, I mean I'm more of an employee than a friend or whatever... Whatever. I get dressed and pick up a jam roll and a bottle of Moscato on the way.

I spot a group of people gathered around a tartan picnic blanket, tucked away behind some azalea bushes. "Baileyy!" Bladee exclaims as he stands up to greet me. He looks tired. His hair is tied back in a genuinely messy bun and I notice he reeks of cigarettes as he buries my face in his chest, wrapping me in a hug. 

"This is Zak and Sherm.. Axel!" he says, gesturing to them. I wave and greet them back, quickly sitting to hide the fact that I'm shaking a little meeting these two. Ecco looks me over, his demeanor is relaxed yet his gaze is sharp and attentive. I add my contributions to the pile of berries, homemade brownies and cough syrup in the middle of the blanket. 

"So I've been working on serenade  some more but I'm a bit of a perfectionist so nothing's feeling right, especially the colour pallettes." Benjamin explains. 

"Well I know your favourite colour's purple, has that always been-" I cut myself off, realizing I've just quoted an interview from years ago and probably sound like a stalker. He cracks a smile without looking back to me. "Yeah, it's always been purple.. You know my favourite colour, huh?" I drop my face into my hands, groaning with embarrassment as he chuckles to himself. I reach over and pop open the Moscato, taking a swig.

"Benjamin told us you're into our music.." Ecco chimes in, turning my face red. "Who's your favourite member?" He quirks an eyebrow at me and I have to take another sip before answering, "Well I'd say its Bladee now..." 

"Now?!" Benjamin snaps. "Well when I first heard your music.. I thought it was the worst music ever.. and I didn't understand how anyone could listen to it.." Benjamin clutches his heart over his chest and feigns offence while Ecco laughs uproariously at him. 

"But I got used to it you know.. And then I really liked it... obviously. I think it was just so different to anything I'd heard before, you know? Ecco maybe you'd still be my favourite if you'd fucking release something!" 

Now Benjamin is laughing at Zak who scowls back, poking his tongue out like a teasing child. "She's not wrong.." Jonte chimes in from where he's laying off the edge of the blanket on the grass and ashes his cigarette. "Ok I'll feature on Serenade. Happy?" I shake my head at him. "Nah. doesn't count."

We get back to Benjamin's place and there's instantly joints lit and lean poured. Benjamin approaches me from behind and ruffles my hair before leaning against the kitchen bench and having a sip from his double cup. He's clearly... intoxicated. 

"So.. What else do you know about me? My addresses? My blood type?" I roll my eyes, neglecting to look back at him, "No." 

"Oh, come on," he presses "You don't need to be shy about it anymore." I cross my arms and lock eyes with him. "You know I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat me like.." I trail off biting my tongue." He stands and take a step towards me, lowering his voice, "Like what, huh?" 

I shrug, but my tone is rife with frustration. "Like I'm just some fucking groupie? You know, you're the one who wanted my help with this project! Or what? You knew and you're just on some arrogant ego trip?" 

There's a beat of silence. "I didn't mean it like that.." He starts. I sigh. "Yeah but that's my point Benjamin, you know I look up to you so when you do that shit it makes it hard to see myself as your equal." He nods solemnly, "Yeah. I'm sorry. I won't tease you anymore." He pushes past me back into the living room. He left his double cup behind. I down it before I go to follow him.