The Words I Didn't Say

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Raya:

This man, who had once become a source of torment before we grew close, is now my savior. Thanks to him, I've been able to achieve my dream, and he's almost become my best friend. In just two months, he's managed to find his way into my heart. It's been over two weeks since we moved into our new home, and I'm starting to feel like it's mine.

Tomorrow is the start of the university semester, and I can't wait to begin my first year of cardiology. Every time I think about it, a wave of excitement rushes through me, mixed with a touch of anxiety. My dreams are finally taking shape, far from the shadows of the past.

My mother, as well as Djallal's, have taken turns visiting our new life, bringing some warmth and familiarity. But my father... he hasn't come. I prefer not to wonder why. What matters is that I feel safe, far away from him.

However, I'm worried about Djallal. He still has nightmares, often waking up with a start. Every time, I feel a part of me tighten with concern. I wish he would talk to me, share his fears, but he refuses. I'm here, yet I don't know how to help him. The distance created by his silence saddens me, even though our friendship is blossoming.

I often wonder what the future holds for us. The days are passing, but I'm ready to face whatever comes, hand in hand with him.

It's 6 a.m. I get up and stretch, already feeling a twinge of worry at the thought that Djallal might have isolated himself again. His side of the bed is still neatly made, as if no one has touched it for hours. I sigh, knowing he's once again chosen to sleep in one of the guest rooms, despite my repeated protests.

I understand that he thinks he's doing it to avoid waking me, but I can't help but worry. He's not really sleeping, I can feel it. His eyes have this emptiness, this growing fatigue. Each morning, he seems to carry the weight of an invisible world on his shoulders.

I quickly get dressed, determined to make him a good cup of coffee—maybe that will help him wake up and have a better day. I head down to the kitchen, my heart heavy but resolute. I want him to know that I'm here for him, that I won't let him lock himself away in this solitude.

It's past 8 a.m., and there's still no sign of Djallal. A bad feeling clenches at my heart—he wakes up at 6 a.m. every day, even during vacations and weekends. "Maybe he finally managed to sleep in this morning," I think, but I'm still uneasy, so I decide to go check on him.

I walk softly up the stairs, each step echoing in the quiet house. As I get closer to the guest room door, a knot of anxiety forms in my stomach. I knock gently before opening the door, expecting to see him asleep on the bed. But the room is empty.

When I open the door to the bathroom connected to the bedroom, a wave of panic washes over me as I find Djallal half-conscious, slumped against the wall. My heart clenches at the sight of him in this state. His eyes are half-closed, and he seems to be struggling to stay awake.

"Djallal! What's happening?" I shout, rushing toward him.

He slowly lifts his head, confusion written on his face.
"Raya... I... I don't know," he murmurs, his voice shaky.

I quickly kneel beside him, making sure he's okay. I shudder, realizing how exhausted he looks.

He tries to sit up, but his strength seems to have left him. I can't help but feel guilty, as though I hadn't been there for him.

As I help him stand, I notice how hot he is, his skin drenched with heat. My heart races, anxiety gnawing at me.

I lead him to the bedroom and lay him down on the bed.

"I'll get some water and a cold cloth," I tell him, my determination taking over the fear. I rush to the kitchen, filling a glass of water before grabbing a towel.