Still Growin' Up Now

Chapter 2

It seems that Ponyboy was not able to recover from his sour mood after the whole shot incident. He was silent the entire car ride home from the diner, and had promptly shut himself in his room as soon as they walked in the house, muttering something about homework. Darry thinks it's just an excuse, considering it's the last week of school, but he didn't push.
He hopes maybe he's taken the time to cool off while Darry worked on dinner. He tries to keep his thoughts positive as he pulls the baked potatoes from the oven and sets them on the cutting board. He expertly slices them open, steam erupting from their fluffy white interior as he puts a generous amount of butter on each of them.

"Dinner's ready!" Darry calls, hoping Ponyboy will come out soon. Ever since that night at the park fountain, he's been trying desperately to keep the peace with Pony, but they still seem to butt heads at every turn, and Darry feels more and more lost each day.

"Thanks Dar!" Soda says happily, fixing his plate with chicken breast, green beans, and a potato. At least one of his brothers has forgiven him for the whole affair. He busies himself with fixing his plate as he watches Ponyboy shuffle into the kitchen, still looking a bit sour. They all take their places around the table and Soda keeps chattering about how he and Steve got to work on a Mustang today. Darry can tell the mood in the room is making Soda real nervous. The dinner continues in this stilted manner until Darry notices Ponyboy rubbing at his upper arm with the bandaid dejectedly. Darry can sympathize, his own arm is definitely sore when he moves it around.

"It'll be less sore if you move your arm some," Darry says finally, nodding at Ponyboy. His brother's face sours further and Darry can feel his own hackles raising in anticipation.

"Gee thanks a lot Darry, I didn't think of that," Ponyboy bites out sarcastically, a defiant gleam in his eyes. God Darry wishes he could just keep his cool like Soda sometimes, but he can feel his own desire to fight back, unable to let things go.

"Hey! Watch your tone kiddo," He warns, trying to keep his voice from rising.

"Or what?" Ponyboy continues, stabbing a green bean aggressively with his fork, eyes looking away from Darry in challenge. The next thing Darry says is an empty threat, but he can't keep it from passing his lips.

"You want a swat like Dad would've given for that kind of lip? Because I am more than happy to-"

"Why do you always have to ruin everything?! You used to at least let us have FUN!" Ponyboy yells, letting his fork clatter loudly. 'There it is,' Darry thinks. When Pony gets upset like this, it's never just about one thing.

"You think I want to be the adult all the time?!" Darry says back, voice raising now despite his attempt to keep it steady.

"Oh yeah, because Soda and I are just such a burden for you! We took away all your opportunities!" Ponyboy shoots back. Darry feels so angry, because while he does have a secret worries about his lot in life, he has been very careful to never voice his worries to his brothers. Leave it to Ponyboy to bring those fears to light.

"God's sake Ponyboy! Why can't you ever just leave things BE? I made you get one shot!" Darry yells, finally feeling like he's reached his limit. "Why do you always have to-"

"I can't STAND YOU TWO ANYMORE!" Soda cries, smacking his hands on the kitchen table as he leaps to his feet. This stops Darry mid-sentence, and he feels a rush of concern at Soda's outburst. He reaches out to grab Soda with what he hopes to be a comforting hand, but before he can, he feels his heart drop into his stomach when Soda bolts out the front door. He feels his heart begin to race at the familiar scene, his head spinning as he's thrown back into that horrible night that happened just six weeks ago.

"If you hate me so much why not just send me away?! You ain't Dad, Darry, and you ain't Mom neither so quit trying to act like you are! I hate you!" Ponyboy snarls, his voice dripping with venom, his teenage temper flaring in true Ponyboy fashion. For a moment all Darry can hear is the pounding of his own pulse in his ears, and he feels his hand shake at his side, making his own blood run cold. He realizes that for a split moment, he almost moved to hit his little brother. He feels nauseated at the thought; the fact that he even considered it for a split second has him feeling overwhelmed with self loathing. Now there's just an eerily tense silence in the kitchen, Ponyboy seems to be waiting for Darry to keep yelling back. He can see the tension in his brother's body, and the fire his eyes as they just stare at him challengingly. Soda stands to the side, his own form stiff and frozen. Darry tries to calculate his next thought, and what to even say to Ponyboy's previous insult, but he doesn't expect that instead, he feels his face simply crumble for a moment, unable to keep it together for once.