Still Growin' Up Now

Chapter 3

Darry has to consciously keep himself from panicking as he and Ponyboy try to catch up with Soda, who's running like a bat outta hell. His muscles are already aching in protest, while he may have been a great football player, his sprinting is another story. Ponyboy has made it a good several yards ahead of him, the kid is so fast, but Soda has the advantage of a head start, and his own determination keeps him firmly ahead of them. He absentmindedly wishes his brothers would just sit down when upset, instead of running at full speed into the night. Soda may not be as fast as Ponyboy, but he's agile, and he manages to dodge between the light posts as he books it towards the playground set in the park. Darry finally can slow down from a sprint as he starts to gain on Soda, who's climbing up the playset making a beeline towards the tallest slide's platform. Ponyboy is just stepping foot on the lowest platform when they see Soda's form disappear into the tunnel that connects two of the tall platforms, and in any other scenario Darry would want to laugh. Ponyboy is still small enough that he can climb up the thing easily, but Darry has to slow down, making a conscious effort to not whack his head on a bar or something as he follows after his brothers. Soda is still 5'11" but apparently the extra four inches of height Darry has is the limit of what this playset was built for. Clearly whoever made this children's playground did not have a 6'3" man in mind when they built it, Darry thinks begrudgingly.

"Soda?" Ponyboy says softly, kneeling by the opening of the tunnel. Darry lets out a grimace as he moves to sit beside Pony, his knees popping loudly with the action. He can see Soda's form backlit by the street lights; he's got his knees tucked to his chest, turned sideways in the tunnel, and he's pointedly not looking at them.

"Soda," Darry tries, hoping to at least get him to look at them.

"Go away! Find your own tunnel," Soda, says halfheartedly, though they can all tell his words have no bite behind them.

"I don't think I'll fit in any of 'em," Darry mumbles, and he at least gets a huff of a laugh from Soda at this.

"Soda I'm sorry," Ponyboy whimpers, and Darry watches in dismay as Ponyboy crawls into the tunnel, narrowly missing whacking his head on the ceiling. Darry really hopes he can get Soda to come out, cause he is pretty sure they'll all get stuck in there if he has to follow them. The scene before him almost makes him laugh; he can distinctly recall times he had to climb up one of those play structures composed of many tunnels similar to this tube. He remembers on several occasions his mom sending him to go retrieve his brothers, who were stuck and hollering for rescue. Ponyboy would always insist on going into the tunnels, claiming he liked them, and then would get scared about halfway through. He'd refuse to move until someone came and found him and brought him out.

Sodapop on the other hand, never got scared in the thing, instead he'd be running around so fast and wild, he'd get himself all disoriented to the point he'd get lost and not know the way out. In both instances Darry remembers begrudgingly climbing into the tunnels with a sigh, going to get them. He can't help but feel like his mom has once again sent him on a mission to rescue his little brothers when she can't.

"C'mon little buddy, talk to us," Darry probes, waiting for Soda to cave. He knows his brother better than anyone, and he knows Soda needs to talk before he'll start to feel better about anything that's upsetting him.

"I just, I can't handle y'all fightin anymore, sometimes I just feel like I got run from it or something, I dunno," Soda sniffs, wiping at his eyes as Ponyboy curls up beside him, leaning on him in a gesture of comfort. "It's just, we're all we got left, and I'm so scared sometimes ya know? And it's so hard having you both wanting me to take sides, but I can't always be pulled in all directions!"

"I know-"

"But Darry, you gotta be softer on him sometimes. You can't get on him about every little thing, he feels things differently than you," Soda continues. Darry feels the breath pulled from him. His brothers seem to think he's so cold and unfeeling, it almost hurts more than a punch to the jaw. He knows he can be tough on them, but he's spent every waking moment trying to be a pillar of strength for both his brothers since they lost their folks. He didn't let himself cry at the funeral because he knew his brothers needed to see that he was strong, that he'd be the adult they so desperately needed.