Edge Of The Ice (On Going And Own Book)

Unravelling Threads. 27

The walk to Cass’s house felt longer than usual, despite the chilly air urging Alex to move faster. His breath came in short, visible puffs as the last remnants of daylight disappeared, leaving the streets bathed in the soft orange glow of streetlights. Each step felt heavier with the weight of what was about to come.

By the time he reached Cass’s front porch, his heart was pounding in his chest, and his mind was swirling with everything he wanted to say, everything he hadn’t said yet. He stood there for a moment, staring at the door, wondering if he could really fix things or if he’d already let it all slip too far.

He raised his hand to knock, but the door swung open before he could.

Cass stood there, wrapped in a loose hoodie, their soft curls framing their face. The familiar scent of their house—lavender and vanilla, the candles Cass’s mom always burned—washed over Alex as they stood there in the doorway, looking up at him with that quiet intensity that always seemed to strip him bare.

“Hey,” Cass said softly, stepping aside to let him in.

“Hey,” Alex replied, his voice catching slightly as he stepped inside. The warmth of the house wrapped around him, in stark contrast to the freezing air outside. He could hear soft music playing from the living room, probably something Cass had put on to calm their nerves.

They led him up the stairs and into their bedroom, a small, cozy space filled with posters of bands and skating idols, art supplies scattered across a desk by the window. Cass had always been the creative one, filling every inch of their room with reminders of who they were, what they loved.

Alex sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling awkward and out of place for the first time in a long while. Usually, being in Cass’s room was comforting—safe—but tonight it felt different. Tense.

Cass sat down beside him, their eyes flickering over his face, searching for something in his expression. “So… what’s going on?” they asked, their voice soft but firm.

Alex took a deep breath, his hands clenching together in his lap. He didn’t know where to start, so he just spoke what was on his mind. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been… distant. And you’ve been so patient with me, but I’ve been screwing everything up, haven’t I?”

Cass didn’t answer right away, their eyes downcast as they fiddled with the edge of their hoodie sleeve. “It’s not that you’re screwing everything up, Alex. I just… I don’t know where I fit in your life anymore. Hockey takes up so much of your time, and I get it. It’s important to you. But I need to feel like I matter too.”

“You do matter,” Alex said quickly, turning to face them fully. “Cass, you’re the most important person to me. I’ve just been trying to figure out how to balance everything, and I’ve been doing a shitty job at it. But I promise, I’m not going to let hockey come between us. Not like this.”

Cass looked up at him, their eyes searching his for a long moment, as if trying to decide whether to believe him. “It’s not just about hockey. It’s about how we never talk anymore. I feel like I don’t know what’s going on with you. And I get it, I do—I’ve got figure skating, and you’ve got hockey, but… I need you to be present, Alex. I need you to let me in.”

Alex’s chest tightened. He hadn’t realized just how much Cass had been hurting, how much he’d been shutting them out without even meaning to. He reached for their hand, hesitating before finally taking it in his own. “I’m here now. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner, but I’m not going to let you down again. I’m not going anywhere.”

Cass exhaled slowly, their fingers tightening slightly around his. “I don’t need you to be perfect, Alex. I just need you to try. To be honest with me, even when things get hard.”

“I will,” Alex promised, his voice barely above a whisper. “I will. I don’t want to lose you, Cass. Not because of my own screw-ups.”

There was a long pause, the air between them heavy with unspoken words. Then, finally, Cass leaned into him, resting their head on his shoulder. “You won’t lose me. But we both need to work on this. It can’t just be one of us trying, you know?”

Alex nodded, his heart pounding in his chest as he wrapped an arm around them. “I know. I’m all in, I promise.”

For a few moments, they just sat there in silence, the tension slowly easing away as they held each other. It wasn’t a perfect fix—there was still so much to work through—but it was a start. And for now, that was enough.

“I’m glad you came over,” Cass said quietly after a while, their voice barely audible against his shoulder.

“Me too,” Alex replied, his voice soft. “I missed you.”

Cass smiled faintly, their eyes closing as they leaned closer. “I missed you too.”

The rest of the night was spent in quiet conversation, sharing the things they hadn’t been able to say before, both of them trying to rebuild the bridge they’d let fall apart. They didn’t have all the answers yet, but for the first time in weeks, Alex felt like they were finally on the same page again.

And that was enough for now.