Edge Of The Ice (On Going And Own Book)

Fractures Beaneath The ice. 35

After practice, Alex dragged himself off the ice, his body exhausted but his mind still racing. He quickly changed, throwing his gear into his bag as he mentally prepared for the conversation with Cass that he had been putting off. Maybe it was time to finally address the tension that had been building between them.

As he stepped out into the parking lot, the sunlight was bright, blinding him momentarily as he squinted against the glare. He glanced at his phone to see a new message from Cass, sent just minutes earlier.

Cass: Hey, are you free later? I wanted to talk about something important.

His heart sank. He couldn’t help but think the worst—what if they were done with him? What if Cass was tired of waiting for him to get his act together? The thought tightened the knot in his stomach even more.

Alex: Yeah, I’m free. What’s up?

He hit send and waited, his heart pounding as he wandered toward his bike. He took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself. The anticipation was almost unbearable. Just as he mounted his bike, his phone buzzed again.

Cass: Can we meet at the skate park? I’ll be there in 30.

Alex took off, the wind whipping through his hair as he pedaled hard, trying to shake off the anxiety that clung to him. The skate park was a few miles away, and he used the ride to push back his fears, letting the adrenaline from the exercise fuel him.

When he arrived, Cass was already there, their figure moving gracefully across the half-pipe, the way they always did. Even in the midst of his turmoil, he couldn’t help but admire how effortlessly they flowed over the curves of the ramp, the confidence they exuded in every jump and turn.

He parked his bike and approached, a mix of excitement and dread swirling inside him. Cass spotted him and came to a stop, their expression shifting from concentration to relief.

“Hey!” Cass called out, their eyes lighting up. “I wasn’t sure if you’d make it.”

“Yeah, just finished practice,” Alex replied, trying to match their energy but feeling like he was dragging a weight behind him.

Cass stepped down from the half-pipe, their hands shoved into their pockets, the usual confident demeanor wavering slightly. “I wanted to talk to you about something important,” they said, their voice a little softer now, almost hesitant.

“Yeah, I got your message. What’s on your mind?” Alex asked, trying to keep his voice steady, even as he felt the tension building again.

Cass shifted their weight from one foot to the other, their gaze dropping to the ground. “I’ve been feeling like… I don’t know, like we haven’t been connecting lately.”

Alex winced, feeling the weight of their words. He knew they were right. Things had felt off between them for a while now, but he didn’t know how to fix it. “I’ve just been really busy with hockey and school,” he said, trying to find an excuse that wouldn’t sound like an excuse. “You know how it is.”

“I get that,” Cass said, biting their lip. “But it feels like you’re pulling away. I’m worried about you, Alex.”

The honesty in their voice hit him like a punch. He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair, feeling a mix of shame and frustration.

“I don’t want to pull away, Cass. I just—everything feels like it’s too much right now. I’m trying to juggle hockey, school, and… you,” he admitted, his voice faltering at the end.

Cass stepped closer, their expression softening. “I want to help you, but you have to let me in. You can’t keep shutting me out.”

“I know,” Alex replied, feeling a wave of guilt wash over him. “I just don’t want to burden you with all my problems.”

“That’s not how relationships work,” Cass said, their voice firm but gentle. “You’re not a burden. I care about you, Alex, and I want to be there for you. But you have to meet me halfway.”

Alex took a deep breath, trying to absorb their words. He wanted to let them in, but the fear of being vulnerable, of showing how overwhelmed he really felt, held him back.

“I don’t know how to do that,” he admitted, feeling the heat of shame rise in his cheeks. “What if I mess it all up?”

Cass’s eyes softened further, and they reached out, resting a hand on his arm. “You won’t know until you try. We’re in this together, right? Just… please let me help you. We can face it together.”

He looked down at their hand on his arm, the warmth grounding him, and felt a surge of something—hope, maybe, or maybe just the slightest glimmer of courage. “Okay,” he finally said, meeting their gaze. “I’ll try.”

“Good,” Cass said, relief washing over their features. “Let’s take it one step at a time. But you need to promise me that if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’ll talk to me. No shutting me out.”

“I promise,” Alex said, his heart finally beginning to ease. Maybe this could work. Maybe he could figure things out with Cass by his side.

As they stood together, a sense of calm settled over him, replacing the chaos of his thoughts. For the first time in a while, he felt like maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t alone in this.