Chapter Three

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It turned out to be a complicated delivery for Astrid. After only one hour of labor, the baby's heartbeat significantly started declining. They were running out of time and it was clear both Astrid and the baby's lives could be in danger. About half an hour later an emergency c-section was performed. During the surgery Astrid was awake. Non-scheduled c-sections usually meant the mother wasn't conscious for it, but Astrid had begun showing signs of serious fatigue and her heart was so strained it was considered too much of a risk sedating her. Instead she got epidural and two nurses on her side of the cover, keeping close watch on her vitals. She felt groggy from all the anesthesia and painkillers she'd received, but she didn't miss the tray of scalpels and other instruments being brought to the surgeons on the other side of the cover.

In all probability everyone working in that room that day had vast experience of procedures like this one. It was likely the surgeons had performed such surgeries dozens of times. It was reasonable to assume the nurses had seen hundreds of babies being born, many of them through c-section. They were experienced professionals, all of course highly aware what needed to be done and the risks that came with it. They weren't likely to make mistakes.

Sometimes, however, human factor plays tricks on all of us.

It was an accident, obviously. Nothing more than an unlucky coincident; at the exact time of the head surgeon performing the, at the time standard, vertical incision, in that exact moment - that's when a nurse fumbled with a forceps. It slipped from her grip and fell, right into a bowl made of surgical steel. The loud clang that echoed in the room felt ear deafening in contrast to the silence it broke. There wasn't a person in the room that didn't flinch. And weren't it for the epidural, Astrid would likely have felt her baby flinch as well. The next moment the atmosphere in room changed drastically. Astrid felt fear rise in her chest as people around her started screaming at each other, the nurses were running back and forth, tissues falling like bloodstained leaves to the floor... and then, finally — finally — a baby's sharp cry that pierced the room. Astrid exhaled in one shaky breath.

"Can I see her, please, I want to see her." Her voice sounded thin even to her own ears. Like the child she actually was. For a long moment no one seemed to pay her or her request any attention, but then a nurse finally showed up from behind the curtain separating Astrid from whatever was going on with the lower part of her body. The nurse was holding what Astrid in an instant knew would forever be the love of her life. A reddish little face, the little mouth open, screaming for all she had, so hard it made her chin tremble. Eyes shut tight, little fists in the air. She was a miracle. The nurse carefully placed the little girl on Astrid's chest, so close to her face she could lift her head and put her tearstained cheek, her nose to the crown of her daughter's head. The moment she did the baby stopped crying. A little sound escaped her before going still, comforted by the familiar sound of Astrid's steadily beating heart. A heart now fully belonging to this little person. Astrid gently ran the tips of her fingers over the soft, dark red fuzz of hair on her little head. It had been cleaned up from bodily fluids so it was clear this little girl had her mother's haircoloring. Astrid was just about to check fingers and toes when the nurse gently but firmly took the baby from her again. When she saw Astrid's face expression, she smiled at the new young mother.

"We'll bring her back shortly. Don't worry, Astrid. She's fine." The nurse left the room with the newborn baby. Another nurse took Astrid's hand and squeezed it gently in a comforting gesture while the surgeon continued stitching her up on that other side of the covers.

"Where are they taking her?" Astrid didn't feel comforted at all. The opposite; a cold chill travelled down her neck, making her shiver. But the nurse just kept squeezing her hand and smiling, making Astrid wanting to knock the teeth out of her mouth. She glared at the nurse, who finally answered.

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