Slime May Cry

SMC - Prologue

Death is pretty underwhelming, all things considered.

Well, physically, that is.

Mentally, it's pretty difficult to grapple with, the fact that your time on the planet is over. The mental hurdles are pretty overwhelming. There's so much more that you could have done with life, you could have applied yourself more. But you didn't, did you? It's not like it matters much anymore, anyways. Because there's nothing else you can do, you just have to accept it and move on, towards whatever lies ahead of you.

The Christians believe that when you die, you pass on to the afterlife. You are judged based not only on your moral character, but your devotion to their deity, and sent to Heaven or Hell based on that. Or so they say. The church is an organisation run by Man, and Man is VERY easily corruptible. I'd personally imagine, given everything that I've heard about the big man upstairs, that he'd be quite forgiving of Man's sins. Most of them, at least.

The Buddhists and Hindus believe that we are reborn after we die. The soul is reincarnated into a new body. It's admittedly more nuanced than that, but hey, I'm not gonna butcher what I'm not familiar with. That would be tasteless.

Muslims.... ah, screw it, I'll give it a go. But you can't be mad at me for trying. Muslims believe in judgement. They will be judged by Allah regarding their actions on earth, and will be sent to Jannah (paradise) or Jahannam (damnation). I think I got that right?

Ancient Egyptians (and maybe modern Egyptians, I'm not too sure) believe in a trial after death. Your heart will be weighed by Anubis, and if it is not lighter than a feather, then you shall suffer in the Du'at for all eternity. If lighter, a happy afterlife would take place in the Field of Reeds.

Finally, the Greeks believed that after we die, we..... this could take a while, but to sum it up: take a ferry via friendly-neighbourhood Charon, judged on actions in mortal world, sent to one of a few places. Fields of punishment (bad people), Tartarus (horrid people), Asphodel (decent people), Elysium (Heroes), or the Isles of the Blest (Lived 3 lives and reached Elysium in all 3. Show-offs....).

As for athiests? We don't know what happens after we die. It could just be one great void of nonexistence. You wouldn't even get to experience it. You breathe out for the last time, and poof. Whatever constitutes to your soul is wiped. Permanently. Isn't that fun?

That's what James was preparing for on his, admittedly shit, deathbed. I say "deathbed", but "pavement" is more apt. Just sprawled across it, one leg on the road, bleeding from his abdomen. He didn't think he'd die by gunshot, honestly. Knives are more common in England than guns, but that certainly doesn't mean they stop existing. They don't just evaporate when they get to customs. He wasn't even sure how it happened, he just blinked and there was a hole through the bottom of his right lung, and he was on the floor. Generally considered "not good" as far as the NHS is concerned.

But as the cold, numbing sensation crept across his body, he found it difficult to think of anything at all. People were crowding around him, some brave gentleman was trying to staunch the blood flow, futile as that would be. I mean, the bullet passed cleanly through. if nothing else, it's just gonna come out the other side faster.

With shaky breath and coughing up blood, James spoke up. "Ah.... don't bother, mate... the Peaky Blinders... don't do 'witnesses'...". Blood was practically falling out of his mouth, but comedy was important. Making fun of bad things to soften the blow.

The man, of course, didn't listen. The ambulances were on their way, but he wasn't gonna be able to hold out that long. Of course, there were a few bastards recording the entire thing. 

Inconsiderate cows. At least ask permission first....

'Ooooh, this isn't fun. Still, could be worse.... but I wanted to at least go to comic con in a few months. Ordered my Vergil cosplay for no goddamned reason, then. Shame... I always wanted to be Vergil...'

[Skill not found]

[Searching]

[Confirmed: Vergil template successfully located]

[Confirmed: Son of Sparda.. acquired]

'Always thought he was cooler than Dante... his drive...'

[Confirmed: Motivation... successfully acquired]

'..his skill...' 

[Confirmed: Thought Acceleration... successfully acquired]

'..and that's not even mentioning his Devil Arms....'

[Confirmed: Devil Armaments... successfully acquired]

'..haaah... and his title... The Alpha And The Omega..'

[Confirmed: The Alpha And The Omega... Cannot execute. Adjusting circumstance.... successful]

'..That demon could shrug off an injury like this.... too bad...it was fun... while..... it....... lasted.....'

And with that last though, James let go of his life.

[Constructing body to specifications....successful.]

[Initiating Soul Transfer protocol...]

[....Successful.]

I guess the Buddhists were right, after all.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey guys, Xeroph here!

Sorry to blueball you so long with waiting for another chapter of Accelerated Assassinations. A lack of motivation combined with stress, trying and failing to nab a summer job, and pre-reading for uni has left me pretty much dead.

Good news, though! I'm back at uni and my timetable has given me a lot of free time, but don't hold your breath, yeah?

Anyways, I wrote this in an inspired moment at... 7:30am. It's just a proof of concept for now, I may develop it later down the line, who knows? Not me, which is concerning.

See you next time!