"It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone." -Hans F. Hansen
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T H E N
As I stood on the edge of the rocky cliff, feeling the wind push my fragile body, I thought back to the day that became my final trigger. I tried to escape the people around me. But it hasn't worked for 4 years. It seemed as if it was always the world against me. Everything vs. me. Life wasn't fair. For years and years, I was mercilessly taunted and picked on. I always thought that humans were the most cold-hearted creatures on Earth.
Sure there were always the ones that pitied me. And then there were those who pretended not to acknowledge. Either way, no one bothered to speak up. I know now that the strongest people were the ones who stood up for what was right, even if no one else was doing it. My biggest regret was that I hadn't done something. If I had only had a voice. That was my fatal mistake.
As I wander through the halls of high school, avoiding all eye contact, hoping that no one would notice me, I was beyond repair. I had been so damaged into thinking that I was worthless and ugly that I had started to believe it. If I was off the world, who would miss me?
Certainly not the people at school. No one wanted to be friends with that girl who everyone picked on for the fear of the same torment being inflicted on them. I was so afraid of even telling my parents, that they were still blind about what really went on. If only they knew.
Almost everyday I had the same thoughts in my mind. No one would've even known I was gone. I could end my misery and the misery of my bullies. I mean, one less ugly person to deal with. I fell into a deep depression and started sinking lower and lower until I didn't even have the strength to pull myself out.
Everyday was the same. I was like a monotone robot, with no emotions or feelings. I thought that if I was passive and quiet, they would eventually get tired and move on. Boy was I wrong. I think that only hurt me more. By letting them physically and mentally abuse me, they made me weak. I had no more desire in this world. No purpose.
It had been a long time since I had cried. I can't even remember how to. I don't know what the feeling is like to smile. All I know is to keep my head down and try to be invisible. When it had first started, it seemed like that was all I was doing. Crying. I couldn't stop myself.
I'm worthless, I thought. That was the only thing in my mind, as I stood over the the waterfall. I wasn't needed on the Earth. I prepared to jump and I was soon immersed in cold waters. I slowly felt myself drowning, fighting the urge to reach the surface and breathe in oxygen. The world slowly starts to fade and I black out.
A/N
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I wanted to try a story that promoted #NoMoreBullying. Please give me any feedback, whether constructive, or critical; I just ask that you don't be too negative. Thanks for trying this story.
<>Halston
