Friends With Benefits

13

A month later, on the night before Miranda's first day as Chief of Pediatrics she found herself wrapped in Ben's arms, their bodies tangled together. Cuddling wasn't something she normally did but every Thursday for the past month she found herself watching a bad movie with Ben, eating dinner, having sex, and then cuddling. 

The weight of the new title pressed lightly on her mind, but for the moment, being with him offered a sense of calm.

Ben's voice broke the silence. "You nervous?"

She shifted slightly, her head resting on his chest as she looked up at him, her eyes searching his. "What would I have to be nervous about?" she asked, trying to sound casual. But there was a slight edge to her voice that betrayed her.

Ben raised an eyebrow, not buying her casual tone for a second. "Come on now, I've spent enough time around you to know when something is on your mind." There was a teasing smile on his lips, but his eyes were full of understanding.

She sighed, feeling exposed in a way only Ben could make her feel. She wasn't used to being so easily read, especially not by someone she had convinced herself was just a friend—well, a friend with some added benefits. "Is it that obvious?" she muttered

"Maybe not to everyone," he replied, his hand gently tracing patterns on her arm. "But to me? Yeah. You've got that look—the one you get when you're thinking ten steps ahead."

Miranda let out a quiet laugh. He wasn't wrong.

"It's just... tomorrow's a big day, you know? Being Chief of Peds, it's more than just a title. It's a lot of responsibility. I'm going to have to make decisions that could change the whole department. What if I mess up?"

"Miranda Bailey, you don't mess up. You might overthink things, sure, but that's because you care. You're gonna be a damn good Chief, and you know it."

She rolled her eyes at him, but the corner of her mouth lifted in a small smile. "You're awfully confident for someone who's not the one stepping into this role."

He chuckled. "That's because I know you. You've been a badass surgeon, a leader, and a mentor for how many years now? This is just the next step, and you're more than ready for it. The paperwork, the meetings... sure, that's part of it. But you're still going to be doing what you love—working with kids, saving lives. You're just adding 'Chief' to the mix."

 "It's just a lot of change all at once. I've spent my whole career trying to prove myself, and now... now it's like I've reached the top of this mountain, and I don't know what the view's supposed to look like."

Ben leaned down, pressing a kiss to her lips, his voice soft but firm. "It's gonna look like exactly what you want it to. You've earned this."

Miranda felt a warmth spread through her at his words, the nerves in her stomach beginning to settle. "I guess you're right. It's just hard to let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect."

"Nobody's perfect," Ben said, lying back down beside her, pulling her close. "But you? You're as close as it gets. Tomorrow's just the first day of the rest of your amazing career. No need to be nervous."

"Funny how when we met you said I was mess, and now here you are saying I'm close to perfection."

Ben raised an eyebrow, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Well, once you start sleeping with someone, your perspective tends to shift."

"Oh, really? So what, now you're suddenly blind to my flaws?"

"Something like that," he teased, shrugging nonchalantly. "I wouldn't want to call you a mess again because, you know, you might stop coming over. And that would be a tragedy."