Friends With Benefits

23

Ben's final year as a resident marked a significant turning point in his career and life. With a mix of excitement and trepidation, he made the official declaration to pursue plastic surgery, a decision that felt more like coming home than a mere career choice.

As he filled out his fellowship applications, he crafted his personal statement, recounting his journey through medicine, the challenges he faced, and the experiences that had shaped his desire to specialize. Ben immersed himself in his work, juggling surgeries, patient consultations, and preparing for interviews. He felt the pressure mounting, but he thrived on it, pushing himself to excel. He sought mentorship from attendings, always eager to learn and improve. He even found moments to reconnect with his residents, sharing tips and advice while enjoying the camaraderie that had developed over the years.

However, the stress of the application process began to take its toll. Ben often found himself second-guessing his choices.

One evening, after a long day at the hospital, Ben returned home to find Miranda waiting for him with dinner. The sight of her, cheerful and welcoming, melted away his worries for a moment. They settled down at the table, and Miranda could sense something was off.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" she asked, eyeing him with concern.

"I guess I'm just nervous about the fellowships. I thought I'd be excited, but now I'm worried about the competition."

Miranda leaned in closer, her expression serious yet gentle. "Ben Warren, you've worked so hard for this. You're more than qualified, and anyone would be lucky to have you. You need to believe that."

He nodded, appreciating her reassurance. "I know, but it's just... I want it so badly. I don't want to let anyone down, especially you."

"Listen," she said firmly, reaching across the table to hold his hand. "You're not just doing this for me or anyone else. You're doing this for yourself. This is your dream, and you've earned it. Trust your abilities."

Her words struck a chord, igniting a spark of determination within him. He leaned back, reflecting on her encouragement. "Thanks, baby. I really needed that."

At work Miranda sat on the cold bathroom floor, her knees drawn up to her chest, feeling utterly defeated. The walls felt too close. She tried to catch her breath, but the weight of her emotions threatened to crush her. Just moments ago, she had stared at yet another negative pregnancy test, her hopes dashed yet again. Each month brought with it a wave of anticipation, only to leave her drowning in disappointment.

Suddenly the door opened and Callie immediately noticed her "Hey, what's going on?" she asked, noticing the distress etched on Miranda's face.

"Nothing," Miranda lied, her voice catching slightly. She attempted a weak smile, but it fell flat.

Callie, however, wasn't buying it. "Miranda, you're crying. That's definitely not 'nothing.'" She stepped closer, her concern evident. "You can tell me."

With a heavy sigh, Miranda felt the dam break. "I had another negative test," she admitted, her voice trembling as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

Callie's eyes widened with realization. "I didn't know you guys were trying for a baby"

Miranda wiped her tears, frustration flooding her system. "We weren't exactly broadcasting it," she said bitterly, her voice trembling.

"I'm sorry."

"And every negative it feels like... I'm failing. Like I can't give Ben what he wants."

The admission sent her spiraling deeper into a well of grief. Thoughts of Tucker flooded her mind, the memories painfully vivid.

"I just keep thinking about Tucker," she said, her voice cracking. "How much he wanted to be a father. How I lost that baby and how he went and got another one from another woman. And now with Ben..." she choked on her words