Meet Me Under the Willow Tree

Chapter Eleven: Cassie

I ran out the backdoor, my head spinning and my lungs constricting. I run and run and run. After a while, I get tired, but I ignore it. I pretend something's chasing me. No, not something. My father.

I'm not a big runner; I get kinda wheezy. But tonight, I don't care. The adrenaline in my veins makes each feeling muted. My breath comes in gasps. Running and hyperventilating at the same time is a difficult task if you're not trying to pass out. I hold on to consciousness as much as I can. Enough to ponder my next move. I had a destination in mind, but would I really go there? Did I dare?

Breathe, breathe, breathe, I pleaded with myself.

But then again, would it matter if I didn't breathe?

What did it matter if I never breathed again?

There would be many people whose lives would actually be impacted if I did this, wouldn't they? There would be people who wouldn't mind at all. The thought is like poison. I'm almost too fatigued to continue, but I do, fast as ever. I didn't stop running till I reached the place that I knew I needed to go. The place that silently called me.

I teared through the cool night breeze, ignoring the cold that awakened my skin. The wind whipped past my face, and silent tears streamed down my cheeks.

I choked back sobs constantly. The piercing cold of the late Autumn air made breathing almost more painful than it already was.

In the back of my mind there was relief. In this moment, I am free. For there they stood in front of me. The cliffs. I guess that's what they were; the cliffs. But I had always called them hills. The hills that overlooked the rocky beach way down below. The hills were stiff, rocky, jagged. There were benches where you could sit, and a little fence preventing people from falling. It doesn't really do anything. I could step over it, easy. I think it's just for show.

The logical part of my brain screamed in fear of what was perhaps to come. But the logical part of me was being drowned out.

I walk, ever so slowly, to the fence and look down. The water below is as black as the night around me.

The moonlight reflects off of it as it laps lazily against the jagged rocks towards the shore. They stick out of the ebony water like jagged teeth ready to claim me.

And I might let it. There's a thin little fence separating people and cars from the cliffs. I grip the fence so hard my knuckles turn white.

My heartbeat pulses in my head. With a shaky breath, I close my eyes and breathe in the cool night air. Feel the lake effect chilling my skin.

The lake effect I'd felt chilling my skin so many times over the years. I remember running along the sidewalk by the cliff with my parents when I was young and naive. We laughed and ran. They hoisted me up so I could see the water over the fence.

I remember thinking it was so beautiful; soft blue and shiny from the sun. The lake is one of my favorite natural beauties. In the night, illuminated by the moon, it's just as beautiful. Ominous, but hauntingly beautiful. It beckons me. It feels more like home than any place I'd ever been. I craved the eternal rest that it promised.

The gentle waves lazily lapped against the pointed rocks below. Once, my dad had told me that the water reflected the sky. I thought of that every time I saw water. And now I'm here again. The place that was my safe place all these years. My final place.

The water reflects the blackness of the still night around me. The moon and stars are reflected in the lake. It's kind of a foggy night; the moon peeps out from behind wisps of cloud.

The water so far down below whispers my name. Cassie, it beckons.

It's getting hard to ignore.