Meet Me Under the Willow Tree

Chapter Fourteen: Maeve

I woke up with the first rays of dawn piercing the night sky, signaling the beginning of a new day—and the challenges that awaited me.

After checking on Mateo, who was sleeping soundly in the bed across the hall, I quietly made my way to Cassie's desk. The second letter she had left for me lay on the desk, a silent reminder that she was gone for good.

With a deep breath, I began to read through the first one again, searching for any clues and reasons for why I had to wait to read the next one. The only reason she had given was because I wasn't ready, but that didn't make sense.

I wasn't ready to start ninth grade, I hadn't been ready for my closest cousin to die, and I definitely wasn't ready when Cassie left me forever. As I studied the words, my heart ached for Mateo. At just seven years old, he was adjusting to life without his sister. Without someone to be there for him when he got his first girlfriend, when he got married, or had kids.

It was so unfair.

With a heavy heart, I gently placed the first letter back on Cassie's desk, my eyes lingering on her familiar handwriting. The weight of her absence felt like an anchor, keeping me tethered to the past as I struggled to navigate the uncertain waters of the present. I knew I needed to focus on the here and now—on being there for Mateo—but it was difficult to let go of the lingering questions surrounding Cassie's last words to me.

As I grappled with the torrent of emotions that threatened to consume me, the scent of vanilla that still lingered in the room brought a small measure of comfort. Memories of Cassie and me flooded my mind, and I found myself reaching for the familiar heart-shaped rocks we had collected buried under the purple notebook. They were a symbol of our bond, one that even death couldn't sever. Just then, a soft knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.

Turning, I found Mateo standing in the doorway again, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looked so small, so fragile, and in that moment, I knew that my purpose was to be there for him—to guide him through the storm of emotions and uncertainty that lay ahead.

"Hey, buddy," I said, forcing a smile as I walked over to him.

"Did you sleep okay?" He nodded, his eyes flicking to the desk where the letters sat, unspoken questions dancing in their depths.

"Yeah," he whispered, his voice groggy, "but I miss Cassie."

My heart cracked at the vulnerability in his voice, and I knelt down to his level, pulling him into a tight hug.

"I know. I miss her, too." As we held each other in the quiet stillness of the morning, I knew that our journey would be a difficult one.

But with Mateo's hand in mine, the weight of the rocks in the other, and the memory of Cassie guiding us, I was determined to help us both find a way to heal and move forward—one step at a time.

Taking a deep breath, I walked over to the window with Mateo by my side, allowing my finger to roam over the rock and look at the rising sun, revealing dust particles dancing in the air. I let the warmth wash over me.

A new day had begun, and with it, the promise of answers—and perhaps even a sense of closure—waited on the horizon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes caught as the sun's rays slowly disappeared behind the trees and I knew the day was coming to an end, although personally, the day hadn't felt like much. All I had done was sulk, Mateo had been at school and there had been nothing better to do, but I knew it wasn't working towards anything good. At that, I felt a small surge of determination rising within me.

I needed to keep pushing forward, to find the strength to navigate this new reality. Getting off of the small couch in Cassie's room that I've pretty much lived off of the past day, I make my way down the hall and into Mateo's room to find him bouncing a rubber ball, over and over and over again in a never-ending cycle.

He startles when he notices me and his eyes widen a fraction. He jumps off the bed to give me a hug, his arms barely making it around my waist.

"From now on we're going to focus on the happy memories we have with Cassie, okay?" I said softly, keeping my voice warm, as much as it hurt me.

"We'll keep her alive in our hearts by sharing our favorite stories and remembering all the times she made us laugh." We start to make our way down the stairs to the outdoor deck, the cold wind refreshing.

Mateo nodded, a faint smile beginning to form on his lips.

"Like when she tried to bake us a cake for your birthday, and it turned out all lopsided?"

I chuckled for the first time in a while, the memory bringing a much-needed sense of lightness to the moment.

"Exactly. And remember how she always pretended to be a rocket ship when she'd push you on the swings?"

His smile widened, and for a moment, the weight of the loss seemed to lessen. Together, we continued to reminisce about the joy Cassie had brought into our lives, our shared memories intertwining to create a quilt of love and comfort that we could pull over our heads for the moment.

Though the ache in our hearts remained, we found solace in the knowledge that she lived on through the stories we shared and the love that bound us together.

As the late afternoon turned dark evening, we found ourselves wrapped in the stillness of the frigid night, the cold biting at our cheeks. The house felt emptier without Cassie's vibrant presence, and the void left behind was a tangible reminder of the hole in our hearts.

The warmth of shared memories and the bond between us provided a distraction from the heart in my chest that was slowly losing its light.

"It's time for bed, little man," I said softly, giving Mateo's hand a gentle squeeze.

We made our way back inside, the familiar creak of the floorboards echoing through the quiet halls. Our footsteps felt heavier than usual, the weight of the day's emotions taking their toll.

As Mateo climbed into bed, I tucked him in, making sure his stuffed elephant was nestled safely in his arms.

"I know it's hard, but we're going to be okay," I whispered, smoothing his hair. "We have each other, and we have our memories of Cassie to hold on to." He nodded, his eyes fluttering closed as he snuggled deeper into his blankets.

"Goodnight," he murmured, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Goodnight, Mateo," I replied.

I stepped back into the hallway, leaving the door ajar so that the light from the hallway could cast a warm glow into his room. A thought came to my mind. The past day I've been the one taking care of Mateo as if he were mine. Where had his parents been? And why has the responsibility of him been dumped on me? To be totally honest, I didn't mind it. I love Mateo, and he's obviously much more mature than most kids his age, but the question still lingered.

The house was shrouded in silence once more, Lucia and Diego probably already in bed, and I couldn't help but feel the emptiness weighing on my chest.

Retreating to Cassie's room, I sank down onto the couch, my gaze falling on the letters from Cassie that lay on the nightstand. The unopened one seemed to call out to me, the mystery of its contents begging to be unraveled. But I knew that I had to be patient, to wait until I was truly ready to face whatever it held.

Exhausted both physically and emotionally, I crawled onto the couch, my body sinking into the soft mattress. It just didn't feel right to use Cassie's bed, but I can't handle being too far away from the place Cassie pretty much lived in.

The day had taken its toll on my mind and body, and sleep soon claimed me, whisking me away to a world where the pain of loss was just a distant memory. And as I drifted off, the lingering scent of vanilla seemed to surround me. One thought kept budging its way into the front of my mind.

"She's gone, and she's never coming back. You'll never be as happy without her. Just give up already."

I fought against it. Of course, I know that I'll never be the same but that doesn't mean that I can't heal, and maybe that's what Cassie was talking about. That I needed time to heal.

And to think, it's already been two days.

Only 19 years and 363 days to go.