Meet Me Under the Willow Tree

Chapter Twelve: Maeve

"Believe it or not I had happiness once. The universe came and ripped it from my hands as fast as it had been given to me. And once it was gone the pain of my sadness hurt far more than it ever had."

"She's gone, Maeve." Even in my hazy, idle mind, I recognize this as my mother, her once soothing voice now starts my heart pumping faster in a mix of emotions.

Beneath my skin, I was burning against the frigid weather of early December, though my skin was cold to the touch. I picked my feet up and slowly started walking into the funeral home. My head was pounding, all the things I wanted to say trying to break down the thin barrier of self-control I've carefully put in place. As I'm walking through the double doors, the only thing I can hope for is that this is all a dream, that none of this was real, because Cassie can't really be gone.

Can she?

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Everything was white. The room is in stark contrast to the dark casket sitting in front of me. The low hum of voices that had once permeated the room around me had disappeared hours ago, but I wasn't alone I noticed, the stifling sobs breaking the suffocating silence around me.

I reached down to tangle my fingers into Mateo's hair and pull him to me, his hands clenched around the hem of my dress, his sobs muffled by the black fabric. I'd always had a soft spot for Cassie's little brother, but he had never mattered to me the way Cassie did. My eyes were red and puffy, the tears that once sat on my cheeks were long dry.

In the midst of the white, silent room, my memories of Cassie burst like vivid fireworks in my mind.

The endless summer nights spent under the stars, the laughter echoing in the warm night air. Cassie's bright smile, the way she always knew the right thing to say to lift my spirits.

The way we had promised to be there for each other.

Always.

Mateo's sobs pulled me back to the harsh reality of the funeral home, and the realization that my best friend was truly gone.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice hoarse, new tears flooding my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Mateo. I wish I could make this better, but I don't know how." He sniffed, his fingers digging deeper into the fabric of my dress as if seeking some kind of anchor in the sea of grief that threatened to drown us both.

The casket in front of me was locked shut. Lucia had said she didn't want to see the mangled body of her daughter, but I wouldn't have minded. It was still Cassie.

The flowers decorating her casket were carnations.

Everyone had thought they were her favorite, but she had only said that because she didn't want to disappoint them. She actually despised them, the colors created too much of a fantasy. Her real favorites were bleeding hearts.

Ironic.

It seemed like the last two months before she died her heart was just empty, like there was nothing else left in her to love. Mine was just the opposite, because just like the flower my heart is bleeding.

Some corner of my mind is going off like an alarm, telling me that I need to leave soon, but I promised the Vina family that I would help them pack up some boxes of Cassie's belongings.

I let the last tear cascade down my cheek before I quickly wiped it away. I tried blinking away any sadness left in my eyes, though I doubt it did anything.

I scuff my feet across the tile floor, dragging Mateo along with me. I find myself standing in front of my parents who are talking to Mr and Mrs. Viña.