I Will Kill Your Friends And Family (crackship)

+ Ch. 3 - Heartbreak pt.2 💔+

(TW: SUCIDIAL THOUGHTS AT ONE PART)

George Washington's POV

American Army Camp, 1778

I can't ignore him anymore. He's been sending letters every day for a year. I can't do this anymore. I approach Philip Schuyler. His eyes light up. "Oh, hello, General. Have you heard the news? My daughter wants to court you! Isn't that exciting?" My jaw drops.

Eliza.

Elizabeth Schuyler.

WANTS TO COURT ME?!?!

"I-" I stutter. WHAT?!??!

"So, yes or no? You'd be lucky to court someone such as her. She's very nice, caring, and sweet. And she's rich!" 

No. This can't be happening.

"I- y-" Philip Schuyler cut me off. "Great! The wedding is tomorrow."

Fuck.

"WAIT-" I say, but it's too late. I have to flee the country now, I guess. Woohoo.

The next night.

I sneak through the woods with a lantern. The nearest ship is almost there, and it's only a 12-hour ride to London, so I'll be there in time. (I know it's not accurate but he needs to get there early teehee) I board the ship.

The following day.

Back when I still lived near London, I snuck out to visit the King a lot, so I know where he lives. I sneak inside. I go up to his room and what I find makes me want to cry.

There it is. Seabury on King George's lap. 

Anyone can tell what they're doing. It's obviously inappropriate. King George sees me and stutters. "W-what? I-i-it's not what it looks like!" He says, standing up, Seabury confused.

A wave of pure sadness engulfs me.

No.

No.

NO.

This isn't happening.

I feel tears roll down my cheek. I turn around and run out of there. 

The wedding is supposed to be in 13 hours, so if I were to get back quick enough, I could still get there. I storm out of the palace. Back on a ship. The ride is long and full of sadness. I wonder if I just jump off there and save me the pain. I sigh. But that wouldn't do me any good. Finally, the boat is back. I have even less time than I'd thought- 30 minutes. I quickly get dressed in a suit and I arrive at the wedding.

A ceremony that should be filled with joy and pride felt grim and dull. I want King George to be in that wedding dress, not Eliza Schuyler. But his heart belongs to another, clearly. All those letters were meaningless. That was his plan all along. Send me letters to make me swoon over him only to break my heart. 

And I thought I knew him.

During the wedding, one of my generals, Marquis de Lafayette, shows up. "Bonjour, sir! Congratulations!" He says cheerfully. "Thank you." I say dully. "Hey, I have a question for toi.." Lafayette says. "What is it?" I ask. 

"There's this girl I really like, she's the sister of your wife, actually, Peggy Schuyler.. how do I ask her out?"

I wasn't expecting that.

"Oh.. well.." I start. I don't feel romantically involved with any girls, except for Eliza I guess, but I don't feel like I really love her. Maybe I can just mash up what I'd do for King George- or what I used to think I'd do for him.

"Maybe you can write her a letter telling you to meet her at a location. Preferably a pretty area like a park or a really pretty tree. Make sure you have a flower or two ready. Once she asks you why you brought her there, you can say something like 'This area is super pretty, just like you' and then put the flower in her hair."

God, that sounded weird.

Lafayette thinks otherwise, apparently, since his eyes light up. "Oui! Thank you, mon ami. That will surely win her over!" He smiles. 

At least his love life is going well.

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A/N

Heya! Probably should have wrote one of these later but too bad. So I added a bit of Leggy (lafayette x peggy) in this chapter since they are my fav ship and it was a bit much angst and we needed more fluff :)) hope you enjoyed it! Also as always this is completely satire and a crack ship. I'm only writing this normally bc a.) I genuinely can't read fics that use horrible grammar on purpose so how could I write one and b.) I like writing genuine fics, but the ship part of this isn't very genuine!

I struggle with updating books heavily but hopefully I'll still have inspo to write tmrw (I doubt but hopefully ig)