The Return (Teen Wolf Fanfic)

You Worthless Nutsack

"Have dinner with me tomorrow. Well not just me Claudia, Channing, and Sam will also attend. I want you to get to know my family. But I mean that's if you want to because it's not like I can force you or anything I'm not like your alpha because I'm pretty sure Scott is doing a good job because he's well Scott and I kno-"

"Shut the hell up before you give yourself a panic attack. Yes I will have dinner with you." She smiles as she pecks my lips.

"I should probably go it's already 8:45 and I know Claudia will be upset if I don't tuck her in." I check my phone for any messages.

"Yeah you're right I guess. Maybe I can find myself a deer while I'm out here."

"Huh. Some things never change." I smile and shake my head at her as I pocket my phone. " I need to tweet before my lovelies go crazy thinking I've been kidnapped or something."

The things that never change can sometimes be the best things in the world.
-Stiles Stilinski

We reach the edge of the woods where Roscoe is in no time. I totally geeked out about her finally agreeing to date me.

"Well.... This is me" I sigh dramatically as I pat the hood of Roscoe.

"You're such a little spoon," she rolls her eyes as she grabs the front of my shirt and yanks me into a bruising kiss. " but that's okay because I'm the big spoon to your little one." She grins then takes off.

"I'm desperately in love with that crazy ass deer loving chick." I hop into my jeep to go home, sort of in a rush to see my creations.

Just before I reach the area with all the houses I'm rolling uncontrollably off the side of the road and into the trees. I must be car accident prone.

"Shit!" Roscoe is stuck on her hood therefore I'm left dangling from my seat. My eyes flash purple as I unbuckle my seat belt and flip out the broken window and land into a crouch.

I hear clapping and look up to see someone that looks familiar but completely foreign at the same time. He wore his brown hair in an outdated quiff, white shirt, black skinny jeans and black combat boots. I roll my eyes at his "villain" attire. Like seriously?

"That was impressive Stiles. I mean really that flip and crouch? One could mistake you for a werewolf if they weren't careful."

"Who the fuck are you? Matter of fact I couldn't care less. But you know your first and biggest mistake?"

"What? Attempting to harm the great and invincible Stiles Stilinski?" I can taste his horrible overplayed sarcasm.

"No you worthless nutsack. You fucked with my jeep and let me tell you. No one. Fucks. With. Roscoe."

"Well I might just keep that in mind if this scrap metal actually survived this minor tumble." He winks and starts to back away. "I must say it looked way better in the 4th grade when your mom was driving it."

I remain completely calm and just blink at him.

"You were also WAY easier to rile up back then too. But hey we'll be seeing more of each other. Oh and give little Claudia and Channing a kiss goodnight for me."

I am FUMING inside but I refuse to let him see me riled up. In the blink of an eye I'm in his face smiling maniacally.

"Mention my daughters again and I'll have you begging me to kill you." I wink with my unnatural purple eyes, and with that I'm gone.

I call some of my people to collect Roscoe and get her in tip top shape. I can't have my fans freaking out so I post a gif of me in a Mets hat smiling at one of my many press tours. It seems to satisfy my 88.7 million followers on Instagram from all the likes and comments that start to flood in.