After the Heartbreak

Chapter 12 of Part II: The Fear of Getting Hurt

(Gerald’s POV)

It’s been days since Megan and I hung out last. Days since we laughed over video games, shared dinner, or talked about everything and nothing in particular. Normally, I’d be counting down the time until I could see her again, but something was different this time. Every time my phone buzzed with a message from her, a part of me wanted to reply immediately, but another part—a stronger, more cautious part—kept telling me to hold back.

This is exactly how it started last time, I thought, staring at the screen as another message from Megan came through.

Hey! Want to come by the restaurant tomorrow? I’m testing out a new dish and need a guinea pig :)

The message was innocent enough, and normally I’d jump at the chance to hang out with her, but all I could think about was what would happen if things went beyond friendship. How everything could fall apart, just like it had before.

I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to hurt me.

Sorry, can’t make it tomorrow, I typed back, staring at the words for a moment before adding, Work’s been crazy lately.

A lie, but it was easier than trying to explain the real reason.

Megan’s response came back almost immediately.

No worries! Catch you later :)

I sighed, tossing my phone onto the couch and running a hand through my hair. I could feel the knot of frustration tightening in my chest. This wasn’t how I wanted things to go. I liked spending time with Megan—too much, maybe. And that was the problem.

My last relationship had started off the same way. I met someone, we clicked, and everything seemed perfect. But when I finally let my guard down and let myself get closer, it all fell apart. I wasn’t ready for that to happen again. Not with Megan.

---

It wasn’t just about protecting myself. It was about protecting what we had. Megan and I had built something easy, something that didn’t come with the usual complications of relationships. We were friends—just friends. And I didn’t want to risk losing that by letting my feelings get in the way.

But even as I told myself that, it was hard to focus on anything else.

When we weren’t hanging out, I thought about her constantly. The way she smiled when she teased me, the way she got excited talking about her favorite video games or a new dish she was perfecting for the restaurant. The way she made me feel comfortable just by being around.

And that was what scared me.

“Gerald?”

I blinked, snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of Ryan’s voice. He was leaning against my desk, eyeing me with a curious expression. I hadn’t even realized he’d come into the room.

“You good, man?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve been zoning out for like, the past ten minutes.”

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. “Yeah. Just… thinking.”

Ryan smirked, folding his arms. “About a certain someone?”

I shot him a look, but he just grinned wider. “Come on, dude. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You’ve been acting weird ever since we talked about Megan.”

“Drop it, Ryan,” I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck.

But of course, he didn’t. “Why don’t you just ask her out? What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Ryan frowned, his teasing expression shifting to something more serious. “Gerald, man, you’ve been avoiding her, haven’t you?”

I didn’t answer, but that was enough of a confirmation for him.

Ryan let out a low whistle. “Dude, come on. If you like her, you’ve got to go for it. You can’t keep running away.”

“It’s not that simple,” I said, my voice sharper than I intended. “You don’t get it.”

“Then make me get it,” Ryan challenged. “Why are you pulling away?”

I exhaled, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees. “Because… I don’t want to screw things up.”

Ryan’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Screw things up? How?”

I hesitated, the memories of my last relationship flooding back. “The last time I liked someone, it didn’t end well. I let my guard down, and the moment I did, everything fell apart. I don’t want to go through that again.”

Ryan nodded slowly, his expression softening. “I get it, man. But Megan isn’t your ex. You can’t assume the same thing’s going to happen.”

“I know that,” I said, frustrated. “But I don’t want to risk what we have now. What if I tell her how I feel and it ruins everything? What if she doesn’t feel the same way? Then I lose her completely.”

Ryan leaned back, crossing his arms again. “Or, what if she does feel the same way? What if you’re both just sitting here waiting for the other to make a move? You ever think about that?”

I didn’t answer. It wasn’t that I hadn’t thought about it—it was that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. But the fear of getting hurt again, of making things messy between Megan and me, was too strong to ignore.

---

Days passed, and I kept my distance. Megan continued to text me, sending her usual lighthearted messages—sometimes asking to hang out, other times just sharing something random about her day. I replied, but each time I found an excuse not to see her.

Hey, we should do a game night soon! It’s been a while.

Yeah, maybe next week. Been swamped lately.

It wasn’t long before I started noticing the shift in her tone. She wasn’t as quick to reply, and when she did, her messages seemed… distant. I didn’t blame her. I was the one pushing her away. But what else was I supposed to do?

It wasn’t until one night, lying in bed, that it hit me how much I missed her.

I missed the way she made me laugh, the way she challenged me during video games or teased me about my serious demeanor. I missed the way she could light up a room just by walking in, the way she made me feel like I didn’t have to put up walls around her.

Avoiding her was supposed to make things easier, but all it did was make me think about her more. The more I tried to convince myself that this was the right thing to do, the more I realized how wrong it felt.

Maybe Ryan was right, I thought, staring up at the ceiling.

Maybe I’m making this harder than it needs to be.