Mending the Lunar Scars

Chapter 18

After 1 year

A year had passed since the accident that had claimed Alex's life and robbed Raya of her memories. Luca still found it impossible to banish Raya from his heart and mind. She is a queen to his tears, a constant reminder of the love he had lost. Despite the pain, he knew that accepting distance was the ultimate act of love for Raya, a way to protect her from further harm.

Luca had completed his final year and was constantly involved in racing, finding solace in the adrenaline-fueled rush. It was his escape, a way to suppress the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. Even after a year, Raya remained the only thing he truly wanted, yet also the thing he feared to possess.

Having said that, Stephy, now a senior, misses her best friend dearly. Luca, the only person who truly understands her loss and feelings, has become a constant companion. After Raya's parents forbade her from meeting and getting in touch with Raya again, they took her back to Amerson, where she would have to stay close to them.

Luca confided in Stephy, his voice filled with a mix of longing and despair. "I miss Raya every day," he confessed, his eyes filled with a profound sadness that seemed to pierce through the dim light of the café. "No one else has managed to take her place in my heart." Stephy listened sympathetically, her heart aching for her friend. She reached out and took his hand, offering a comforting squeeze.

"I know," she said, her voice soft, her eyes filled with understanding. "It must be really hard."

Luca nodded, his eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over. "It is. I just want to see her again, to talk to her, to tell her how much I love her."

Stephy's heart went out to him. She knew how much Luca wanted to be with Raya, but she also knew that Raya's parents were determined to keep them apart.

"Maybe someday," she said, trying to offer a glimmer of hope, her voice barely a whisper.

Luca smiled sadly, his eyes reflecting a mixture of hope and despair. "Maybe."

After Raya woke up from her coma and her parents took her back to Amerson, Stephy held Luca firmly as a friend, disclosing Raya's memory loss to him. Luca was initially devastated, his heart aching with the realization of Raya's condition. But later, he found solace in the belief that it was all destined, that fate had intervened to keep him away from Raya.

The pain was excruciating, and Luca had to undergo therapy sessions and take depression medication to cope. The loss of Raya felt like a physical wound, a constant ache in his chest.

To this day, Luca couldn't sleep peacefully without medication. The accident had left a deep scar on his mind, a traumatic imprint that haunted his dreams. Further, he had faced a judicial trial for his involvement in illegal racing events but was ultimately set free, his mental condition taken into consideration.

For the world, he had quit racing, but for himself, he had become even more involved in the sport. Racing was his escape, a way to stay closer to Raya's memories, a bittersweet connection to the past he could never forget.

As the days turned into weeks, Luca found himself counting down the days until the major racing championship in Amerson. It was a once-in-three-years event, and he had been training tirelessly for it. The adrenaline-fueled rush of the race had become his escape, a way to cope with the pain of losing Raya.

His mind raced with anticipation and anxiety. He knew that Raya is in Amerson, but he also knew that she would not remember him. It would be a bittersweet experience, seeing her from afar, knowing that she was so close yet so far away.

Despite his mixed emotions, Luca was determined to participate. He had trained relentlessly for this moment, and he wouldn't let it slip away. This was his chance to prove himself, to see Raya and prove he's still worthy of winning this championship, even after her love doesn't remember him.

He still had five months before the race, and he was willing to give it his all. Every day, he found himself practicing more and more, keeping up with the grueling preparations. But when the night fell, he finds himself looking over to Raya's social media platform, adoring her smile and beauty. Her image, a constant reminder of the love he had lost, a bittersweet ache in his heart.

Scrolling through Raya's feed, Luca's heart pounded in his chest. "Hey! I can't take it anymore," he messaged Stephy, his voice trembling slightly. "Look at her profile. It feels like she's smiling just for me." He paused, his breath catching in his throat. "Now that she's away from me, I feel what worst can happen to me. But as soon as I see her, there's a fear of seeing her with someone else."

He continued typing, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. "Imagining her with someone else is churning my heart. But I don't know what I'll do if it happens for real."

Stephy responded in a minute. "Luca, now that she isn't aware of the love between you two... I can't say if she has someone or not. You have to be strong. It was your decision to not go after her, and now you can't break down thinking of her every day." Her voice, though firm, held a hint of sympathy.

"Without her, I have no existence," Luca confessed, his voice filled with a raw emotion. "With her, I have my soul. She's the one I want to spend my life with. She's my peace, my pain, my everything."

He paused, his eyes filled with a mixture of longing and despair. "I chose not to go after her, but I didn't choose to forget her. Every day, I live for her, she has my time. Even when I'm behind the wheels, I can't die because I can't let death take away my breaths which belong to her. She is the only one I want to breathe for. Not even death is its owner."

Stephy read Luca's message, her eyes filling with tears. She tried to find the words to soothe him, to offer him comfort, but none came. Nothing could alleviate his pain, his longing for Raya.

She cried to herself, thinking about her two friends, their lives intertwined by fate and circumstance. She confided in sleep, hoping that in her dreams, she could find solace and perhaps even a glimpse of hope for their future.

Luca noticed the seen mark on his message, his heart sinking. Stephy had seen his text but hadn't responded. Taking it as a hint, he placed his phone on the bed and moved forward to open a bottle of wine, hoping to soothe the pain that gnawed at his soul.

While gulping the bottle of wine, he wrote a message for Raya, his fingers trembling slightly.

"If I've ever been sure of anything, it's you," he typed, his heart pounding in his chest. "I'll retrace my steps that inevitably lead back to you. I'll follow the footprints in sand and snow, as if they would fade yet never do. I'll grasp each anxious straw fervently, and my heart traitorously weeps. I'll wake myself from nightmares, to unwind what I know of you in my mind to fall asleep. What have you done? If I've ever been sure of anything, it's you."

But before he was about to press the send button, he found his consciousness returning, his mind clearing. He deleted the text, his fingers hovering over the keyboard, hesitant to send it. He had more to say, but for now, he would keep it to himself.

The wine burned his throat, a bitter taste in his mouth, a reminder of the pain he felt. Yet, he continued to drink, drowning his sorrows, hoping that the alcohol would numb the ache in his heart.

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Summertime Sadness - Lana Del Ray