The falls

chapter 23

The air in the woods was different that day. Jessica and Neomi had been hiking for what felt like hours, and suddenly, they found themselves in an unusually bright section of the forest. The trees around them seemed to shimmer, and the ground was dotted with vibrant, glowing blue mushrooms. Strange plants with vivid colors twisted in and out of the ground, their glowing tendrils casting an ethereal light across the entire clearing.

Jessica glanced down at the scanner she'd brought with her—a small, handheld device that Dr. Mathis had let her borrow. Her eyes widened as the screen flickered and flashed.

"Uh, Neomi? I'm picking up some serious levels of radiation from these mushrooms."

Neomi didn't even look concerned. She was skipping happily through the brightly lit foliage, humming to herself. "Yeah? So? It's pretty, though, right?"

Jessica frowned. "Pretty but dangerous. Dr. Mathis once told me about these mushrooms."

Neomi, however, was completely unfazed by Jessica's concerns. She was too busy scanning the horizon, clearly looking for something. "I don't care about mushrooms right now, Jess! This is the part of the woods I was looking for!"

Jessica glanced up at her, a little confused. "You were looking for this place?"

"Yeah! I've heard rumors about it! Unicorns are supposed to live here." Neomi's eyes lit up with excitement. "And look, there!" She pointed ahead.

Sure enough, just beyond a cluster of glowing ferns, stood a unicorn. Its white coat sparkled like the stars, and its golden mane rippled as it moved. It was absolutely breathtaking, standing still like something out of a fairy tale.

Neomi gasped and darted toward it before Jessica could react.

"Wait! Neomi—" Jessica called, but Neomi was already bounding through the glowing plants.

Neomi reached the unicorn in record time, her face alight with excitement. She clapped her hands together and grinned up at the creature. "Hi! I'm Neomi Pines, daughter of Dipper Pines! Can we have some of your hair? It's for, uh... magic purposes."

Jessica was still trying to catch up, thoroughly confused. "Hair? Why would we need—"

But the unicorn cut her off, speaking with a haughty, almost regal tone. "No. You may not have my hair."

Neomi's face fell instantly. "What? Why not?"

The unicorn's eyes narrowed. "Because you are not pure of heart."

Jessica blinked. Pure of heart? She was more confused than ever now. She'd heard a lot about unicorns from Gravity Falls' strange folklore, but nothing could've prepared her for this.

Neomi, on the other hand, looked completely devastated. Her lips quivered, and she looked ready to burst into tears. "I... I'm not?"

"No," the unicorn said firmly. "Your heart is tainted with deceit, selfishness, and—"

"Oh, for the love of—stop with that nonsense!" a new voice rang out, interrupting the unicorn's scolding.

Jessica turned to see another unicorn approaching, but this one looked far less... majestic. Her coat was a little scruffy, and her mane was uneven, but her expression was no-nonsense. She came trotting over, shooting the first unicorn an annoyed glare.

"You can't actually see people's intentions, remember?" the second unicorn said with a roll of her eyes. "Stop lying to these kids and acting all high and mighty. We don't give out hair because we don't want to, not because of some purity test."

Jessica's mouth dropped open in shock. Neomi's jaw hung loose, too, caught between her sadness and confusion.

The first unicorn's ears flattened, clearly embarrassed at being called out. "But... I like to make them think that," she muttered.

"That's the problem, Shimmerhoof," the second unicorn snapped. "You make us look bad."

Neomi blinked, then suddenly puffed up with indignation. "Wait! You mean you just didn't want to give me any hair? That's it?"

Before anyone could react, Neomi launched herself at Shimmerhoof, and the two of them started wrestling. Shimmerhoof tried to rear up on her hind legs, but Neomi was relentless, trying to grab at the unicorn's mane. Jessica could hardly believe what she was seeing—Neomi was actually fighting a unicorn.

The second unicorn watched with a bored expression as Neomi and Shimmerhoof rolled around on the forest floor, kicking up dirt and glowing spores from the mushrooms. "You should probably step in before they knock something over," she said flatly to Jessica.

Jessica was still too stunned to move at first, but as the scuffle between Neomi and Shimmerhoof got more intense, she hurried over to intervene. "Neomi! Stop—this is ridiculous!" she called, trying to pull her friend off the unicorn.

Finally, after what felt like ages, the fight ended with both Neomi and Shimmerhoof panting and covered in dirt—and, to Jessica's horror, blood.

Shimmerhoof's beautiful white coat was streaked with crimson, and Neomi had clumps of unicorn hair in her hands, a wild grin on her face.

"Well," the second unicorn said with a casual shrug, "I guess you got what you came for." She flicked her tail and trotted away as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Jessica looked down at her hands, which were now covered in unicorn blood as well. "What... just happened?"

Neomi wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, her face glowing with victory. "We got the hair, Jess! And it wasn't even that hard."

Jessica stared at her, completely dumbfounded. "We're covered in blood, Neomi. And unicorns' blood at that!"

Neomi, however, seemed completely unfazed. She held up the giant clumps of unicorn hair like a trophy. "But we got the hair! Mission accomplished."

With a heavy sigh, Jessica grabbed her bag and started leading them both out of the bright, radioactive forest. "I can't believe I just watched you beat up a unicorn..."

"I didn't beat her up! It was a fair fight," Neomi said, clearly proud of herself.

Jessica shook her head, glancing back at the glowing forest one last time. "I swear, only in Gravity Falls... But why unicorn hair?"

"Because Jessica, it has magic, magic that can protect us from bill. it's clear he might be trying to return, and we need to be ready."

Jessica hadn't even thought of that. She wondered how much it would actually protect them in a weirdness apocalypse because bill has minions, but if this is how dipper and Mabel had prepared for bill the first time, then she was sure this is what they needed to do now.

"then thank you for beating up a unicorn," with that they both laughed and then they kissed again, more intense than last time.