The Pull

Chapter 21

He didn't say a word, not until he'd opened the door to what I presumed was his room, and more or less shoved me in there. But the second he closed the door, he just... exploded.

"Are you really this oblivious, Puck? Really? Do you not see me fighting every second you are near? Are you really so blind you can't see how I'm holding back with all I got, when all I want to do is just fucking kiss you in front of everybody so they all can see you belong with me? I can't think properly when you look at me, Puck. It's like I'm drawn to you in a way that makes me go insane and it's bad. I know that's not what you need, that you deserve someone that doesn't need to possess you or own you, and trust me, I really don't want that either but I can't fucking help it Puck – the thought of someone getting to you is driving me fucking insane!"

I don't think I'd ever heard him use the word 'fuck' that many times in pretty much the same sentence. By now he was pacing in front of me, raking his hand through his hair. Then he stopped and stared at me again with eyes that were burning.

"I have this need to protect you, Puck. I can't control it. I just... I need you to be safe. To be ok. And you were not ok tonight. Don't try to tell me otherwise because I could see it on your face. I don't know what happened and I didn't know how to fix it and it was killing me. Then, when I saw you with that guy, I.. I wanted it to be me. I wanted to be the one to make you feel better. I wanted you to want it to be me."

I really don't know what happened. One moment I was standing there, in front of him, watching his face filled with frustration and pain and hurt, and the things he said made me just... The next thing I knew, I pushed him hard against the wall and pressed my lips to his. He responded with no hesitation. He grabbed me, held me flushed against him, tight. Like he was afraid I would disappear if he didn't hold on. His hand snaking up along my neck into my hair and his fingers clutched giving him a handfull of it, holding my head in place so he could get proper access to my mouth. His tongue was demanding and when he softly bit my lip I shivered. Without breaking the kiss he turned us, pinning me between him and the wall. His lips left mine to wander down my neck and allow mine to let out the moan building up in my throat. God, his hands. He had this grip, this pressure so specific to him when he held me. I would know even blindfolded it was him by that specific touch alone and what it felt like.

"This is all a can think of. You in my arms. You have no idea," he breathed in my ear. Oh, but I did. I knew exactly. I was so tired of fighting this need to touch him, to taste him. I wasn't going to win that fight, ever. I was always going to desire this man more than I had anyone, it was never going to dim, it was never going to fade. The tightness in my chest let go of its grip the second his lips met mine. This. It was what I wanted, and I didn't care about consequences. I pressed myself on him, but he pressed back and held me still. He had let go of control too, I could see it by the fever in his eyes as he pushed my dress down from my shoulders to my waist. The plunge in the back of my dress didn't allow a bra so I had gone without tonight. The dress was flowy enough in the front to hide this fact, but now Ben's eyes darkened when he realised I was almost naked under that dress. It felt almost like he didn't realise what he was doing as his hand travelled along my ribcage and circled my breast as he stared at my chest. He grazed a nipple with his thumb and it made me tilt my head back with pleasure. He bent down, and his lips were on my breast. His tongue twirling around, his teeth grazing my nipple. His hand, still cupping my breast, squeezed tighter. So close to painful but not, not at all. I heard myself exhale as he did, a breath carrying a tremble in my voice with it. My hands had a will of their own, I was pulling his body on mine, needing him closer, needed to feel all of him on all of me. One hand pulling at the waistband of his pants, the other going for his crotch. He tensed in the most delightful way as I pressed my palm against his erection through his pants, and as I started sliding my hand along the length of him he moaned into my skin. His lips left my tits and went for my mouth, kissing me hard as he grabbed my ass and pressed me to him. When he continued with tasting my neck I closed my eyes and leaned my head back to give him access.