Ohio is For Lovers (JT Woodruff)

Part Eight

This part is written from JT's perspective

I wake up at 6:30 AM in the morning so I can eat breakfast and enjoy some alone time before I have to head to the studio around 7:30. Even though I love recording the album, I can't hide the fact that I'm feeling exhausted by it. My girlfriend also misses me a lot and I know I shouldn't, but I feel guilty for leaving her alone in Ohio while I'm out recording with my band. She's been a wreck without me.

I drive up to the studio when I'm ready, when I get there Rob pulls me to the side.
"Hey JT, I've noticed that you've been down lately and not as bubbly as usual. Did something happen? If you need help with anything just let me know." Rob says to me. I'm actually surprised that he cares, he's come a long way from when he was arguing with me over the phone.
"Thanks for asking. I'm okay, just homesick and wanting to go back home. My girlfriend's been a mess, she crashed my car while she was drunk and I really don't wanna leave her there any longer." I confess to him.

"Oh jeez, that's not good at all. But you can't be worrying so much about her when you're not there, you should worry about her when you get back and focus on the recording process for right now. Plus she should really stop drinking entirely if she's driving drunk at all, that's not safe." Rob says to me.

I sigh. I hate it when he tells me to stop thinking about my own life, I get I need to prioritize the album but it seems like Rob just doesn't care about any of my band members and just wants to use our skills. "Yeah, she told me she was gonna stay sober for a while now. It's weird because she's never struggled with that before so that's why it was concerning me. But yes, I will focus on the album now." I tell him just to end the conversation, he's never good at making anyone feel better.

I head off to the vocals room, my own prison cell. Not literally, but it feels like that sometimes with how much time I spend in there. I warm up to do vocals before I tell the technician I'm ready to start. Today I'm doing the final vocals for Life On Standby, kind of a fitting song for the way I feel right now. It's about leaving family and home behind while pursuing music. I wrote it before I left Ohio but now its lyrics are really real to me. It was also partly about when my girlfriend would go to Minnesota to be with her family for longer periods of time, but I miss her even more than back then.

Once I get Life On Standby done, I work on some more miscellaneous songs just to perfect my vocals and figure what sounds best. The day overall goes pretty well, it's always satisfying to record the final vocals to a song. I get done for the day around 5 as usual, me and the other members talk casually once we're done with recording. We may be a band, but we're also a friend group and I'm close with all my band mates.

"Don't leave yet JT, I wanna talk to you before you leave in private." I hear Casey say as I was walking out of the studio.
"Yeah what is it? We can talk for a bit." I tell him. I hope it'll be just a quick chat, this is my second private chat today.
"So, I didn't really wanna tell the whole band this until tomorrow since it's not official yet, but we got invited to go on a summer tour with Silverstein and some other bands." Casey tells me.
My eyes light up in excitement, I never thought this would happen. "Really? That's so great!" I haven't been happy in days, but this news is like a breath of fresh air when I feel so done with being here away from my family and friends.
Casey laughs. "Wow I haven't seen you this excited in days. I don't know for certain yet, the organizers just said they were interested in having us as an opening act." He explains.
"Wait, so how did they find out about us? We haven't even released anything yet." I ask, bewildered.
"I guess Rob has been emailing people in charge of finding bands for touring and showing them our music. You better thank him when you see him tomorrow." Casey tells me.
"I didn't even know that! Gosh I'm so thankful to have him, he must really have faith in us." I say while smiling.
"Yeah, I'm super pumped. I'll send you a PM when I find out if they've decided yet, I don't wanna give the other guys false hope if they decided to go with another band. Anyways, I better leave now. You have a great rest of your day!" Casey says before leaving the studio.

I go out to my car, I'm still smiling. It's so exciting to see my dreams slowly unfolding. And even though Rob is a little weird, I'm genuinely thankful to have such a dedicated and thoughtful man to work with. He doesn't technically have to put in that extra effort so I respect him a lot.

I call up my girlfriend, still sitting in my car. Chicago traffic is crazy at this time so I could spare a few minutes.
"What's up?" She asks me.
"We might be going on a summer tour!" I tell her excitedly.
"Really? That's awesome! Will I be able to see you before that?" She asks.
"Yeah I'll be back around Christmas and you'll be able to see me from January to May." I tell her.
"Thank goodness. I miss you so much, I don't know how much longer I can go without you." She tells me. I can hear the loneliness in her voice.
"It'll be okay Y/N, I'm just as lonely. But anyways, I've gotta get back to the hotel to eat something. We can talk more later if you want." I tell her.
"Okay JT, I love you." She says.
I blush a little with a smile and say it back before hanging up.

I drive back to the hotel that I'm staying at, sitting in traffic makes me feel insane. Growing up in Ohio, we never have traffic like this so I'm not used to it. I sit on my bed and unwind for a moment before I make my own dinner. This hotel room is pretty small, I can't stand not having a kitchen or a living room. Just a bed, TV, microwave and fridge and also a bathroom. I can't wait to have more space when I come home. This place doesn't feel like home at all, despite the fact that I've been living here for almost two months and will have to live here for at least one more month.

I hope the remainder of November and December go by fast and smoothly, I'm honestly so tired of doing the same recordings every day. It's mentally exhausting and hard on my voice. But to be fair, just because it's unpleasant doesn't mean it's bad. I have hope that maybe Hawthorne Heights will get big in the emo scene and someday this will all be worth it.

Tears start to fall down my face, I wipe them away in embarrassment. Nobody is here, but I feel stupid for crying over this. My girlfriend calls me back, I debate whether or not I should even pick up while I'm crying. It's whatever, she's seen me cry so it's nothing bad.
"Can you call now JT?" She asks me.
"Yeah, I'm just in my room alone." I'm really trying not to show my tears.
"Is everything okay? You sound sad." She asks with concern for me.
"Yeah I'm okay, just feeling lonely and homesick." I tell her.
"Oh you poor thing, I wish I could help you feel better." She says to me.
"Thank you Y/N. I'm having second thoughts about being a musician, I love it but it's so torturous leaving you and my whole life behind. I wish it wasn't so difficult for me emotionally." I lament to her.
"Don't give up on it JT, life isn't sunshine and rainbows all the time. Just because it's hard doesn't make it not worth it. And I'm sure it'll get better as you get used to it." She tells me.

Wow, I'm glad she said that. It makes me feel hopeful that things will be better at some point. Honestly I've been going through so much FOMO and anxiety about whether this was the right choice or not. I'm so grateful to have such a supportive girlfriend.