ErectionMan versus The Ass Scratcher

Chapter 7

As I was returning from the doctor's house, I noticed a strange thing. There was neither the sun nor the moon in the sky. One of them must always be there to guide the lost souls. I could see some stars but I didn't recognize them. I tried to search for the Pole star because that was the only cosmic name I knew. I failed. It was almost four in the morning. I cannot be sure as I never carry a watch and my mobile phone was switched off. Dozens of people had started emerging from their homes like cockroaches from under the kitchen sink. The people were walking without purpose and performing ridiculous activities like walking and breathing like an asthma patient. I had never heard anyone breathing. I pinched myself to check whether this was reality or a dream.

I have never been fond of waking early. I can stay awake till four in the morning but waking before eight am was something I have never done before in my entire adult life. The only time I had to wake in the morning was the one week I had to stay in prison. That was tolerable. I had heard that people go for morning walks and perform aasanas and prayanams. But I had discarded it as a conspiracy theory framed for the sole purpose of selling morning newspapers. But to see people running and walking in the morning without any compulsion was foreign to me. I was shocked. Who are these people?

And then it occurred to me. I was walking in the morning. And I hadn't slept a single second since last night. A genetic disorder prevents me from blinking. And that used to give me a lot of trouble while eve teasing. The simplest way to tease a girl is to blink one eye lewdly. I have never been able to do that. Sleep was still miles away from my blinkfree eyes. Erectionman had consumed me. I had become obsessed with him. I had got my libido back. Thanks to Erectionman. But so far instead of banging every prostitute in the city, I was performing the forbidden activity of morning walk. 

The doctor didn't confirm or deny the fact that it was Erectionman who had impregnated the dinosaur. But I knew in my heart that Erectionman had sex with the dinosaur and made her pregnant. Only if I was there to witness the event. So far Erectionman had sucked the tits of a girl, kissed a man, and fucked a dinosaur. All in a gap of two months. He had covered almost all the genres of porn.  And now he was missing for three months. Where did he disappear after fucking the dinosaur? If erection caused Erectionman to grow, then ejaculation would surely return him to normal. So Erectionman could not have superjumped from the forest. He must have walked. Or maybe he was trampled under the feet of the giant dinosaur. But why would the dinosaur kill the father of its unborn child? Maybe tribals cooked and ate him. They were cannibals after all. Or maybe he is still there. I started running without realizing the distance to the forest was over thirty kilometers. Common sense prevailed after ten minutes and I signaled a taxi to stop. I was on my way to the forest.