Stop me if you've heard this one before: A rockstar and an FBI agent walk into a Narcotics Anonymous meeting...
Spencer Reid is trying to get his life back on track after being kidnapped and tortured by Tobias Hankel. Desperate to get clean and keep...
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cw: Subby Spencer Reid, blowjobs, "teach me", oral sex (f and m receiving), begging, soft!dom Lark, femdom, "crawl to me", hand necklaces, praise kink.
I left y'all on a cliffhanger last chapter. Sorry about that! Hopefully, I made it up to you <3
SPENCER
This isn't me.
I don't go up to random hotel rooms with women I barely know to have sex.
But I haven't been me since before Tobias Hankel.
I've shed skin since then.
Addiction carves new pathways in the brain while destroying old ones.
I think I've become selfish since that night. My mind seeks comfort and familiarity.
The dilaudid gave me the chance to experience pure bliss.
The closest I've ever gotten to that has been an orgasm, and when I'm with Lark, I can feel myself chasing that high. I know it's dangerous, and I know it's wrong, but I still can't stop.
I read somewhere that addiction never really goes away, it just shifts focus. Some people start compulsively shopping, others get hooked onto exercise or food... but those compulsive habits are forever nestled beneath the surface of your skin.
When I killed Tobias, it was very clear to me that I would never be the same.
I just didn't know what that meant at the time.
We step into the elevator and she presses the button for the fifteenth floor before turning to face me, licking those plump lips. Her white blonde hair is a mess around her head, sticking up just behind her ears.
"Have you ever had a one night stand before?" She asks.
I shake my head.
It's like I said, I haven't been me since before Tobias Hankel. I don't know what happened to that version of myself, but I've been clawing through the layers of PTSD and trauma trying to find him.
I wonder if he just left that night.
Just like my dad.
Just like everyone in my life.
Lark raises a brow.
"You're not a virgin, are you?"
"No," I scoff. "I've been with someone before."
She smirks, almost challenging me.
"Just one?"
My heart pounds. She looks like she's going to eat me alive... and I'd let her. Slowly, she closes the gap between us, her hand wrapping around my tie.
