Together/Not

9 The Invitation ⏮️

5 months ago

"Mimia, I'm planning to go to Turkey this May."
"I want you to come with me, can you?"

I read his message over and over, my heart racing.

Turkey—a place I had always dreamed of visiting, now with him. I could picture the two of us wandering the streets of Istanbul, hand in hand, exploring the bustling markets, and sipping coffee in a café. The invitation was impossible to resist.

"Carlito, I can't wait to see you again!" I replied, excitement bubbling as I began researching my visa.

Carlito. My playful name for him, an intimate twist that wraps us in our secret world.
He calls me Mimia, a name that feels like a warm embrace.

These names are more than words; they signal our deep connection. If either of us forgets to use them, it hints at a serious situation or unspoken tension between us.

Nearly a year had passed since Carlos and I first connected. What began as casual chats had grown into something deeper, so much so that we messaged every day. It had become our routine, our way of staying close despite the distance.

I envisioned Turkey as a land of romance, where every corner promised unforgettable memories. More than the stunning landscapes, I fantasized about us—spending real time together, laughing and exploring without the burden of distance. Carlos was already buzzing with excitement, sharing his plans for our adventures: the enchanting streets of Istanbul, the delicious dishes he wanted me to try, and the vibrant markets we would explore hand in hand.

Finally, after months of anticipation,
We were planning to meet.

As I prepared to apply for my visa, disappointment washed over me like a heavy fog. I had a sinking feeling that my application would most likely be rejected, and I dreaded breaking the news to Carlos. I really wanted to go to Turkey and meet him there, to experience the beauty of the country together. But all the overthinking clouded my excitement. The pressure mounted as I considered the expenses I wasn't ready to handle. Flights, accommodations, and activities added up quickly, and the weight of it all felt overwhelming. My heart raced with anxiety as I battled conflicting emotions—how much I longed to be with him and how paralyzing the thought of financial strain could be.

Taking a deep breath, I suggested, "What if we meet in Taiwan this August?" hoping to brighten his spirits. It was a place he hadn't visited yet and one of my favorites.

Carlos was heartbroken about how our Turkey plans had fallen through, as he had looked forward to it so much. Yet, the thought of Taiwan also ignited a sense of excitement, proving that what truly mattered was our chance to be together. Our conversations overflowed with enthusiasm as we began planning our adventures together. He also proposed that after Taiwan, we venture to Brunei, the final Southeast Asian country on his travel list.

Our bond had grown stronger, and it was time to turn those dreams into reality. The anticipation built like a crescendo, and I couldn't help but smile at the adventures awaiting us.

All the planning filled me with nostalgia.
After nearly a year apart, were we really about to meet again, despite the miles that separated us?

"Mimia, I thought of you," sending a photo of Whitney Houston singing I Wanna Dance with Somebody. As I reminisced about how we enjoyed that song together, I responded with a voice message, singing along.

Counting down the days to August, both of us felt frustrated that we couldn't meet sooner in Turkey.

"Carlito,"
"Can we meet sooner somewhere?" I asked.

I couldn't wait any longer—I wanted to meet him as soon as possible. Five months until August felt like an eternity!

"Mimia, how about Hong Kong or China? I'll be there for business in June," he replied.

His willingness to meet sooner warmed my heart.

"China?!" I exclaimed, a spark of hope igniting between us.

We checked our schedules, and China felt like a more promising option than Turkey. I quickly prepared and applied for my visa.

"Carlito, the results are in!" I messaged excitedly, eager to check them together. But he took too long to reply. Unable to wait any longer, I opened the notification myself: China visa approved for 30 days! Overjoyed, I shared the good news with him.

With the visa sorted, the next step was booking my tickets. Carlos and I both became flight freaks, obsessively searching for the best deals. He took the lead in planning our itinerary, and I was happy to go along with anything—my only desire was to be with him. Finally, I booked my flight to China for June 14.

This was it.

Everything was finally in place.

All that remained was to board the plane and reunite with Carlos.

After booking my flight, an exhilarating rush of happiness washed over me at the thought of being in his arms again. But along with that joy came a gnawing anxiety.

What would it be like when we saw each other again?

Would I be awkward?

Should I run to him and hug him?

A whirlwind of "what ifs" spiraled through my mind:
What if it felt strange?
What if he didn't find me attractive anymore?
What if he didn't like me anymore?

I poured my heart out to Carlos, sharing every doubt that clouded my mind. To my relief, he comforted me with unwavering confidence. "It'll be just like picking up where we left off," he assured me. "I want to see you because you're You."

Carlos lightened my anxiety with a laugh, saying he wasn't worried about our first meeting at all—just hilariously uncertain about whether to use tongue when he kissed me at the airport.

It worked.

I blushed, my worries fading away, replaced by excitement. Yet, beneath the surface, I feared that he might see me merely as a casual fling. I realized that China would be a turning point for both of us—a chance to uncover our true desires and explore where we could go from here.