He liked her so much. And he still does.
Even after knowing what she did to him.
She matters to him a lot.
Unlike me.
My heart shattered at the cruel realization. He'll never even look at me the same way, let alone like me. And I knew this all a...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
And I'm regretting it again.
***
I'm high school graduate now. I should be happy but that's not what I'm feeling today.
I saw Taehyung.
He found out.
That the person he loved so dearly, was not someone he should've put his trust in. She cheated on him.
And the worst thing is that I knew she was cheating on him.
Still I've made no attempts to make things better.
I don't know how and when he found out. But I've seen the sadness radiating off on his face. He's not playing around with boys today. He's not even talking to anyone. His girlfriend's nowhere to be seen. It's as if his presence is absent even though he's sitting in the class.
The graduation ceremony ended. Everyone was having the best day of their life but nothing changed his mood. I followed him outside of the school. I'm not a stalker but the look on his face is too difficult for me to bear. It took every ounce of my energy to keep my distance from him. Not like I've never maintained the distance before. It's like he doesn't want anybody near him today. Yet everything is pulling me towards him.
It's my last day here, I'll be leaving tomorrow and this is not the expression I want to save as the memory of someone who I admire deeply.
Why of all the days this is the day he had to know the truth. But I knew this was inevitable. Hell, I should be the one warning him about all this beforehand. But how can I, when he doesn't even know I exist. So I did nothing. In order to remain invisible. This has always been my fault.
I hate myself for being this kind of person.
A person who always wants to blend in the crowd. Even though I've always struggled to do so. But maybe after practicing it so much, I've finally honed the skill.
Which I'm not proud of.
I should've at least tried to tell him. So what if he wouldn't have believed me, and thought of me as another fangirl.
Am I not? Just another fangirl.
He has entered a coffee shop and I followed him inside. He sat on a table for two. Put his head down before throwing his bag on the couch across his. His hair disarray. And the sleeves of the uniform folded upwards.
I don't know how to help him. This is the last chance. I've packed my bags for Daegu. I'll be leaving tomorrow morning. And it's already 4:46 pm.
That means this is last.
I've made enough excuses.
Now I have to do something. Time is ticking off.
But what!?
I looked around the cafe and it was full. Suddenly an idea popped up. And I moved towards him. The cold weather outside doing little to control my sweating at this moment. I'm feeling too hot as if I have fever. Who knows this might actually be the case but I couldn't care less.
This is where I'll be talking to him for the first time.
"E-Excuse me..." My heart is beating heavily.
No response.
"Excuse me-e... " I repeated. My palm closed in a fist, gathering courage.
Still no response.
Maybe the world doesn't want us to meet at all. What more can I do than to ask him? I wouldn't shake him up. That would be very indecent for someone you've just met.
"Excuse me." I said a little more firmly. I won't be leaving this time.
In response he adjusted his posture to look at me.
My heart raced at a speed unknown to me. I clenched my fist again and pulled up a smile.
But the moment he looked at me. My world shattered. My forced smile flattened as I absorbed his expressions. His eyes were bloodshot as if he just cried before.
He liked her so much.And he still do.
Even after knowing what she did to him.
She mattered to him a lot.
Unlike me.
My heart shattered at the cruel realization. He'll never even look at me the same way, let alone like me. And I knew this all along. That's why I never showed up in front of him.
