My inner fight

Its a house; not a home

Growing up in a house
But it's not a home
I live with my parents and sisters

But we are not a family
I don't feel connected to them emotionally
They abused me; us
Only thing I learned is that I'm not enough

Growing up in a house
Not a home
So I learned how to hide my feelings
My pain
Myself

I did everything to be under the radar
But still I got blamed for my weight
Nobody will love me if I'm not skinny like my mother
Or my sister

Love comes with conditions
It's not free

I was always the good child
The easy one
Nothing to worry about
Cause I got it all

I was there
Always
Even though I was a child
I got it

I had to have it all together
There was no space for me
It felt like I'm the burden no one can carry
That my feelings don't matter
Thats what I learned