The Timeline [h.s.]

69.

A/N: insane little moodboard for you all!

June 20th, 2018:

Claire woke up with a newfound sense of peace the following morning.

She had fallen asleep crying the previous night - the pillowcase still held a trace of humidity from it as a standing proof of the happening - exhausting herself so much that, on top of the flight and the jet lag, she had fallen into a sleep so profound it had been pitch black.

And it had felt like it only lasted for a second, because when she opened her eyes, Claire felt like she had just closed them. Instead, looking at the time, she saw that it was 8:04AM already.

Harry had let her sleep in, and so had Theodore: when she turned to look at him, she found him still asleep in his crib. The flight had been a lot on his tiny body, even if he had napped on it. Claire decided that she'd try and go on with her morning routine as quietly as possible, to avoid waking him up and letting him sleep until he either woke up on his own or it was too late to postpone breakfast any longer.

She took her time answering all the messages that had accumulated during the night, as her world in London woke up and started living again. Her heart gave out a little when she spotted Toby's name among the ones that had piled up in her Whatsapp homepage. She wouldn't open it, she had already decided it'd be pointless to start a fight with him as they were on opposites sides of the world - although she didn't know what there'd be to fight about, since he had been pretty clear when he had said that things would be over if she chose New York over him. Still, she didn't want to ruin her current day and the rest of her stay by trying and explaining things to him. And by the preview of what she could see of his text, he hadn't taken the news well.

Pressing on the conversation with her thumb as she brushed her teeth, Claire silenced it, so notifications wouldn't show on her homepage. If she didn't see it, she could pretend it didn't exist. It was a problem for when she'd go back home, she was sure he'd give her enough trouble to last her a lifetime.

And, most importantly, she didn't want to explain things to Harry, if he happened to see anything on her phone about the whole situation. It was already complicated as it was; if she had to tell him that Toby was jealous of him....

She shuddered, rolling her eyes, hating Toby for a moment, because of his jealousy and his insecurities.

And then, leaving her phone on top of the marble sink, she stepped into the tub and turned on the rainfall shower, jumping back slightly when the water started cascading on her: the water pressure was incredible, and the temperature was naturally tepid, perfect for her. As she finally got rid of the faint airport smell and was careful to not mess up her new hair (because God knew she wouldn't be able to style them properly like her sister Anna) she couldn't help but replay in her mind what Harry had said to her in that cemetery.

His admissions.

The answers to all the questions she had been asking herself ever since what went down had gone down. How she had been feeling inferior, thinking he had discarded her because he wanted Camille, because Camille was better than she was and more of her type than Claire would ever be. And instead, he had never been into Camille.

That was pretty sad, Claire thought, because Camille didn't deserve any of it, in the end, and it reminded her a bit too much of what she had done with Josh - or even with Toby, actually.

But, and that was even harder to admit, because it meant that she wasn't as much of a good person as she hoped she was, all those things Harry had said to her, the fact that he had never felt anything for Camille... it somehow made her feel a bit vindicated. It was a terrible feeling, but it brought her some sort of comfort.