FLOWER

CHAPTER 10.9

   I tangled with the legs of my little sister, sprawled on the mattress to the hilt. It was as if she was sleeping alone, not sleeping on my bed. Without my consent and against my will. When I push it out on one side, it climbs in on the other. And so on. Without end. Just remembering it makes me boil. After all, she has her own bed. I tread as quietly as possible across the creaky floor to the toilet. When I hear the quiet voice of my parents. And mom's sniveling. Fear runs through me. I strained my ear. The increasing pressure on the bladder must wait.

- Honey, I saw wild madness in her eyes. How she cut her hair furiously. The way she looked then paralyzed me. I stood there and couldn't believe my eyes. Only after she calmed down did the shock wear off of me. I was filled with rage because I could have prevented this disaster and I didn't. I don't know what's happening to her.

- But you called me, she was normal.

- Yes. She made herself scary and everything returned to normal. Her wild eyes disappeared.

- Dearest, I don't know what to say. Since the attack, she is irritated by everything, even the slightest stupidity. Although it has always been an oasis of peace. Nasturtium did not have the strength to provoke her into even the slightest tactless behavior. And now they quarrel more than once, and Róża also began to be offended at her.

- Honey, I can't help her. - Mom sobs. - What kind of mother am I?

- Dearest, we'll be fine. Róża is a wise woman, but she got lost for a moment. I believe she will be able to overcome everything. And we will be her support in these moments.

- Thank you . I'm scared.

- Let's try the psychologist again, he'll listen to me.

- After we messed up with the last one. I wouldn't delude myself.

- It may take me a while.

- A pipe dream.

- Baby, just give me time.

- It is necessary to screen the psychologist this time. If a matrimonial scammer hits again. He was still sitting a month ago. I can't imagine what will happen. - It froze me. I was never informed about this. And I thought they took my word for it. They had to check him out.

- Our little flower has an instinct that does not disappoint. And Nasturtium promised to keep an eye on her since she is irritated. Sleep soundly.

- Honey, what if the police are right? Róża wanted to commit suicide.

What suicide. They don't think I got high and jumped because I wanted to fly. It chilled me in my bones.

- She allegedly bit herself before jumping. You know where the scar is. What a miracle. And in the park at all. So many other building bridges would have been a better choice. And more certain.

 I wake up from my stupor. But the parents are already going to bed.

- Good night. Baby. 

Slowly digest the conversation I overheard. I have a feeling this is not the tip of the iceberg. What I don't know yet. He heads towards the bed. I put my hands on either side of my sister's shoulders and wake her up.

- Since when did you know? - The dream disappears instantly. Even oversleeping or yawning does not occur. She looks at me terrified.

- What? - Squeal.

- About the psychologist.

- That he treated patients without papers and extorted money from patients.

- Talk!

- Mom went to gossip with Mrs. Kowalska. And she talked about how you hated the psychologist. And as soon as you were able, you ran away from him. And when she heard the doctor's name, she almost had a heart attack. She said you had a nose. Unfortunately, her assumptions turned out to be true. All you had to do was search a little deeper on the internet. Our parents decided that we needed a mental break from everything. And they bought a house. That's what they told me, they forgot to add the appropriate word like hovel. Instead of going on a business trip, our dad was here and brought, among other things, bicycles. That's why they weren't there.

- He had several delegations.

- He had to make sure it was safe. What is the area like. He didn't want to mess up again. He spits in his beard. The thought doesn't let him sleep. He wasn't there. And he had no way to help you. And I forgot about you and went to play somewhere else with my friends. - Tears came to her eyes. - I'm sorry, I didn't want to. I should be with you.

And I already know that I won't ask about the police.She is going to cry here.

- Shhh.- She hugged her.- It's me who's sorry. - She hugged back. - I didn't want to torment you. I'm sorry, I love you very much. Forgive me.

- But..

- I told you you have nothing to apologize for. Your apology makes no sense. You weren't at fault for anything. Promise me one thing.

- Yes, watch?.

- This is the last time I correct you. All right.

- All right. You are the best.

- You too.

We lie in an ongoing embrace. The pressing need is already calling, screaming and sounding the alarm. I slowly move away.

- You're mad at me, I knew it.

- NO. Be right back.

- We decided it was better not to tell you. You were so irritated with us about everything.

- And treating me like a clueless five-year-old is the best idea.

- I knew you were mad at me.

- Relax. Don't be hysterical. - He sniffs. - This is my bed and I'll come back here anyway.

Finally, the long-awaited relief. And thanks to a physiological need, I know the truth. What has it come to?