hold my hand

☾ 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 *˚࿔

✩

my irritated eyes flutter as i gaze into the void ahead of me, the void being the beach which is full with darkness.

actually it's not the beach, it's the shore.

his presence still follows me even if he's far, far away. i find it comforting.

there's nobody other than us stood there and it's always been that way, it's always just been us.
im not lonely yet i find myself only being with him when i am by myself, it's peaceful to me.

i like us that way.

his heartstrings suddenly start to knot with mine, they interlink in a messy fashion. a fashion that screams us, so typical.

his arm brushes against mine which ties the knot even stronger, its unbreakable. his free hand digs into my pocket frantically searching for my comforting touch, his fingertips tickle the back of my hand as they start to connect.

our fingers glide together effortlessly.
they fit perfectly like a lock.

my stubborn heartstrings begin to tug and pull away from hyunjin's warmth as it's too unfamiliar for me, i can't stand it..

his grip on my throbbing fingers tightens which sends an odd turning effect to spiral around my stomach, making me cringe in a enjoyable way.

i try to find the words to tell him to 'get off me' but i can't let myself break him like that.

i don't deserve his heart.

i seriously hope this is a temporary feeling.

i can't understand why i should have to carry the unnecessary guilt of loving him, we both have chosen to knot our delicate heartstrings up with each others in a platonic sense. of course.

'please stop this. please let go now.'
that's what i make out i say.

it doesn't come out very well.

the silence being guided by the wind blows through my light hair, it also flows through his dark hair. what a contrast.

our hands are still tangled together meaning that my muted thoughts weren't fatefully guided through the wind into his mind, instead it stays where it will always be. in my mind, freely roaming.

more twisted turns tug on my organs.

when our hands aren't touching i begin to miss him more than ever, but when they do end up touching my heart throbs for his damaged soul that all i want to do is protect.

i cling onto his fingers in that moment, my fingers carefully search for a greater grasp. i can't get enough.

i can't stop craving this friendship.

actually, we're not friends. we're soulmates.

i hope you believed me when i jokingly or seriously said that we were true soulmates, otherwise i can't be the only side who feels this serious. yes, soulmates aren't always lovers.

i was never joking.
i was always true.

i sigh while staring off into the stars that we both are admiring without speaking a single word.