Playing To Win || paused might be continued soon ||

chapter twenty

The air was crisp and cool as I stepped out of the rink after practice, the evening breeze sweeping across my face, sending a shiver down my spine. My legs ached, the strain of back-to-back practices finally catching up to me. It was the kind of exhaustion that gnawed at me, but I wore it like a badge of honor. My competition had gone well, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I could've been better, that every spin and jump could've been tighter, more precise.

I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and started walking towards the parking lot, ready for a long shower and maybe even longer sleep. It had been a few days since Jaxon's party, and I was still reeling from the tension with Landon. His words haunted me, the way he'd said he wasn't going to stand by and let me get hurt. It was like he was seeing something in me I hadn't even recognized in myself.

I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away as my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and glanced at the screen—Ava. She and Sienna had been texting nonstop since our competition last weekend, planning how to celebrate our wins again, despite already having a few wild nights.

Ava: Movie night at mine? You, me, Sienna, and the guys. You in?

I sighed. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open, but the idea of a quiet night with friends was too tempting to pass up. Besides, with everything that had been going on between me and Landon, I needed the distraction.

Me: I'll be there. Give me 30.

I pocketed my phone and quickened my pace toward the car, pushing away any lingering thoughts of Landon. I couldn't afford to let him get in my head again. I had enough on my plate, and the last thing I needed was another complication.

Thirty minutes later, I found myself walking into Ava's cozy apartment. The smell of buttered popcorn hit me as soon as I stepped through the door, and the sounds of laughter and conversation filled the air. Ava and Sienna were already sprawled out on the couch, their legs tangled together like they'd been lounging there all day.

"Finally!" Ava called out, waving me over. "We thought you were gonna bail."

I kicked off my shoes and tossed my bag to the side, making my way to the couch. "Wouldn't miss it."

I glanced around the room. Jaxon and Logan were sitting on the floor, already engaged in some kind of heated debate over which movie to watch, while Connor leaned against the kitchen counter with Ethan, casually sipping on beers. But Landon was nowhere in sight.

Good. I wasn't ready to deal with him tonight.

"You're just in time," Sienna said, patting the empty space beside her. "We're about to settle this movie argument."

"More like a war," Jaxon muttered, still locked in a playful battle of wills with Logan. "I'm telling you, Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and we're watching it."

A laugh bubbled up from my throat, the tension in my body easing as I settled into the couch. "It's October. Why are we even talking about Christmas movies?"

"Because," Logan said, "it's a classic, and Jaxon refuses to let it go."

Ava snorted, throwing a piece of popcorn at Jaxon's head. "We're not watching Die Hard."

"Then what are we watching?" I asked, glancing at Sienna.

Before she could answer, the front door swung open, and in walked Landon. My heart gave an involuntary jolt, my body stiffening the moment he entered the room. He was wearing a simple gray hoodie and dark jeans, his hair tousled like he'd just come from the rink himself.

He spotted me instantly, his eyes narrowing slightly, and I quickly looked away, pretending to be engrossed in the ongoing movie argument.

"Landon!" Jaxon called out. "Get in here. Emery's about to make us watch some sappy rom-com."

I shot him a glare. "I am not."

A smirk tugged at Landon's lips as he joined the group, leaning against the wall near the TV. "What's the debate?"

"We're stuck between Die Hard or something that won't make me want to gouge my eyes out," Ava replied, grinning.

Landon chuckled, his gaze flicking toward me. "Sounds like fun."

The tension between us simmered beneath the surface, unspoken but ever-present. I could feel his eyes on me from time to time, though I avoided meeting them. I didn't know what was going on between us, and I wasn't sure I wanted to find out.

"Alright, alright," Sienna said, clapping her hands together. "Let's just watch something neutral so we can stop bickering."

We finally settled on some random action-comedy, and I tried to relax as the lights dimmed and the movie started playing. I was wedged between Ava and Sienna on the couch, but I could still feel Landon's presence, his proximity making me hyperaware of everything around me.

As the movie played, I found it harder and harder to focus. My mind kept drifting back to how Landon had acted at the party—how possessive he'd been, how he'd stepped in like it was his job to look out for me. And the worst part? I couldn't decide if it had bothered me because I didn't want him to care... or because I wanted him to care too much.

I shifted in my seat, trying to push the thoughts away, but every time I did, Landon's gaze would catch mine for a split second, reigniting the tension all over again.

About halfway through the movie, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed space, distance—anything to clear my head.

"I'm gonna grab a drink," I whispered to Ava, slipping off the couch and heading toward the kitchen. The cool air from the fridge hit my face as I grabbed a bottle of water, hoping it would help steady the nerves buzzing under my skin.

But just as I turned to leave, I nearly ran right into Landon.

"Sorry," I muttered, stepping back.

Landon's eyes searched mine for a beat longer than necessary, his expression unreadable. "You alright?"

"Fine," I said quickly, taking a sip of water. "Why?"

"You just seemed... off," he said, his voice low enough that no one else could hear. "Since the party."

My heart skipped a beat at his words. He wasn't going to let this go, was he?

"I'm not off," I replied, my tone sharper than I intended. "I just needed some air."

Landon stepped closer, his eyes darkening slightly. "Em, you can push me away all you want, but we both know something's been going on between us."

I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling like the room was much too small. "Landon—"

He held up a hand, stopping me. "I'm not saying we have to figure it out tonight. But don't act like I'm imagining it."

His words hung heavy in the air between us, the tension coiling tighter with every second. I hated that he was right—there was something happening between us, something neither of us wanted to admit.

But tonight wasn't the night to unpack it. Not here. Not now.

"I'm going back to the movie," I said quietly, brushing past him.

Landon didn't stop me, but I could feel his eyes on me the entire way back to the couch, the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on me like a storm waiting to break.

Whatever was happening between us... it wasn't over. Not even close.