Beyond Reality

JOLLOF

JOLLOF

I serve Amelie her own serving of Spaghetti. I cook on Sundays, Sundays? I cook most of the days.

Amelie frowns, I see her but I just pretend not to. ' White rice and stew is what we should eat this afternoon'

True.

' with dodo' She adds, pronouncing dodo like a pet's name.

' I don't know, just eat what you have besides I'm not in the mood to cook that'

Amelie scoffs.

Yes, I'm not in the mood, I didn't feel like cooking in the first place, I just did because of Amelie.

I do not like to cook really, I don't enjoy cooking.

' This is surprising ' Amelie said when I told her 'I was told a black women like to cook and that's what they use to capture their men '

' How will a woman say she doesn't like to cook'

' You're just being lazy'

' Is it your husband that will be cooking for you?'

Wait, why can't he cook?

I'm not lazy, I can cook but don't like to.

Does Yeol know how to cook ? He did say he knew a few Korean cuisines, we probably would be eating out ( that's if we get married).

I look at my phone, I did not see his call, he must have tried. I blocked and deleted his number yesterday.

I came to my senses later, I couldn't even text him to apologize.

***

As I walk away angrily, my pace quickened, anger welling up in my eyes. How could I have lost control like that?

I let my emotions get the best of me in front of Yeol, he must think I'm crazy now and the others in the library too.

I couldn't believe what I'd said to Yeol, I'd watched too many Korean films and how I acted, My Dad's right, I'm such a drama queen.

Later, in a park, I regretted my outburst.

The park's calm atmosphere helped soothe my frazzled nerves.

My phone buzzed.

Yeol?

I hissed, Amelie.

' Don't forget the eggs 😊'

I took a deep breath, letting my gaze wander.

A couple in the under a tree in front of where I sat held hands, smiling.
A group of friends laughed, chattering.
Everyone seemed connected , happy except me.

Why did I say we should break up? I felt like crying, but wasn't it late. What if he really breaks up with me?

It was dawning on me, all my acidic words.

' you don't think, Remi' I muttered to myself.

My phone remained silent still, no message or call from him.

I thought back to my diagnosis, it explained all these – my unpredictable behavior and mood swings, but it didn't excuse it. I was just indulging it.

Tears welled up in my eyes, I rubbed it off before it came streaming down , I hated this part of myself.

My phone buzzed. My heart skipped a beat.

Yeol?

' yah, michyeosseo?!' I yelled and hanged up.

Amelie.

***

She didn't say anything about yesterday, I transferred my aggression unto her, that was not good.

' I'm sorry' I say. ' I was mad, angry when you called'

She nods, like she understands, did Yeol call her?
' okay'

' Amelie?' that sounded sarcastic

' I'm serious' She says.

' how about Jollof rice for dinner tomorrow?'

She looks at me with a sheepish grin.

Amelieeeeee....

GLOSSARY

. Michyeosseo : Are you crazy?