The Untitled Story

Chapter 17

As I sat on the edge of the bed, I wrapped my arms around my chest and hung my head close to my knees. My mind was tangled. Did that really happen? Did he really tell me he loved me? Did he mean it? A pit grew in my stomach. A nagging feeling that wasn't dissipating as quickly as I wanted it. I stood up, made my way to the edge of the room looking around at the dimly lit sky, the sun hadn't even broken the horizon yet.

I grabbed my coffee, opened the door, the cool morning breeze swept my face sending chills down my arms. As I take a seat on the swing, I watch the sun come over the horizon. Small sips of hot coffee tinge my tongue, the barn lights flicker off one by one, small chirps start to play like a uniformed orchestra coming in from all sides of me.

When did this happen? When did I think meeting up with him would be a good idea? I still love him even after all this time. I feel it so deeply it makes my head spin. There hasn't been another person in this world who does to me what he can. I really do love that man.

My head was spinning with thoughts that I couldn't, nor did I want to, control in the moment. There was no rational explanation for how I felt. Distance meant nothing. Never had before why would it now? Even when I lived in Florida all those years, he was always on my mind. I part of me always found peace in thinking of Tucker. I would often find myself lost in the thoughts of him and I. The smiles, laughter, his hand holding mine, the way he looked me in the eyes instantly made me feel safe, secure and wanted. To me, Tucker was and would always be my person. I knew in the depth of my soul then, that I didn't want to be in a world where him and I didn't exist.

"Aimee?" His voice came from the side of me, I hesitated to turn to him. I felt his gaze on my face making me turn red. "Good morning Tucker." I tried to sound stern, although I knew I had failed. A flood of excitement ran through my body. "How are you today?" Ah, there it is, the ample small talk that made both of us feel useless as shit. "I am good, just having my coffee before I go back in to finish the books for the month." Tucker walked in front of me taking the seat on the swing next to me. He leaned his elbows on his knees and turned to look at me. "Aimee, I meant what I said last night." I swallowed hard. Fuck, it wasn't a dream. I did tell this man I loved him, and goddamn it, I meant it. "I know you did." I swallowed hard again, but there was nothing there to swallow. "I did too, Tucker, I did too." He reached his hand over placing it on my knee, I looked at his hand as my body tightened up. When I finally looked at him, his eyes gleamed, his face softened, his body seemed to relax. I placed my cup on the small table and placed my hand over his that was still warming my knee. He took his other hand, placing it on my cheek as he smiled that familiar soft smile. He kissed me gently before standing. "I will see you later on, okay?" I couldn't speak, I just nodded my head as he stood up and then started his way up the yard to the main barn. Fuck me!

The sound of the clicking keys from the computer was enough to dull out most of the noise that day, I was knee deep and 50 documents thick in running the back logged book and correcting all the discrepancies that had been found. I knew Ma had tried to get most of this finished but with her being older and not as computer savvy as most the errors are to be expected. Fixed! Oh, shit there is another one. Damn it. I finished one excel sheet and moved right on to the next one like I was in a never-ending race to the finish. I stopped. Stood up and stretched out the best I could. I needed a break. Time for lunch, I think, I really need to use a watch or something. I made my way into the kitchen to see Ma prepping to start dinner. I was surprised she didn't come in to let me know it was almost 3PM. "Hey baby, I left the tuna in the fridge for you, I heard you in there mumbling to yourself, so I didn't want to bother you." Ah, there it is. I really should stop talking to myself so much, but no, I give myself the best advice. "Thanks Ma, I didn't even notice how late is was getting. Pa should be coming in off the farm soon, right?" Ma just nodded as she started to make a dough for what I could only assume would be dinner rolls tonight.

I returned to the small office, looked at all that I had gotten done, then shifted to see the massive pile I had started with was dwindled down to about half of the size. And that will be enough for today. I straightened up the mess, powered down the computer, and pulled out the cigar box. Well, here goes nothing.