Gathered

I Remember My Dreams

I always remember my dreams. The truth is that they haunt me. They accompany me throughout the day. I see them when I have breakfast, I see them when I go to work. They stay with me during lunch hour. They talk to me, they reveal themselves. I never understand what they really want. If they want to tell me that life is nothing more than a fantasy. That what I am seeing is not real. 

I always remember my dreams. In the morning, when I wake up, I never know if I've truly woken up. I look into her eyes, and I fear that she might vanish at any moment. I see her go to work, and I don't even know how many years it has been. I see her come back in the same way, and I can't tell if the person who returns is the same one who left that morning. 

I always remember my dreams. They suffocate me. They enclose me, press me inside a bubble. They throw me underwater. They continuously transform the surrounding world. They shape me. 

I always remember my dreams. I don't know why, but I always remember them. Sometimes I wake up and I know that I'm still dreaming. Sometimes I fall asleep, and I can't tell if I'm really living my life or someone else's. 

I always remember my dreams, and in my dreams there is never love. Because love, in my dreams, is always suffering, always sadness. It's abandonment. 

I always remember my dreams. In the last dream I had, I was locked in a room without doors, I didn't know how to get out. I didn't know what to do. I screamed, but no sound came out of my mouth. So I decided to close my eyes, to squeeze that room even tighter, to make it so small, so very small, that at some point it broke, and I found myself in the middle of nowhere. Everything around me was white. It was an endless desert of blank pages that destroyed my eyes, forcing me to squint. I ran, I ran, but nowhere did I find the destination I was looking for. In truth, I was never looking for a destination. In truth, I've always just wanted to run, run, run, and never look back. Because I know that if I look back, I see myself.