Comic Sketches

PHYSIATRIST SKETCH

A

How long have these events been going on then?

B

Centuries. I can't...

A

Please. Could you describe the scene, the best you can.

B

It was farmland. Really surreal. I can't believe she left me, A.

A

Okay, please take a seat, Mr...?

B

Diddle Diddle.

A

Okay, Mr Diddle Diddle. Who's "she"?

B

The dish, of course. The dog wasn't very sympathetic. I'd raised him since I was nothing more than a diddle.

A

Nothing more than a diddle, you say? I see...

B

And I don't know what that cow had been smoking but I could swear he jumped into space.

A

So a cow jumped into space?

B

Over the moon to be precise. The atmosphere was rather dramatic, what with the cat playing the violin.

A

Are you sure you are quite well? Taken any drugs? Could have lead to hallucinations?

B

Ooh look at the fairy.

A

Paranoia?

B (To the Audience)

Stop looking at me!

A

Anger?

B

And when I find that bleedin' spoon, I'm gonna ram it where the sun don't shine.

A

One last question, have you ever considered seeing a physiatrist?

B

But I thought...who are you?

A

(Breathes In) Well, I'm...THE SPOON!

B JUMPS UP

B

THE SPOON! You monster! Where is she?

A (Feigns Ignorance)

Who?

B

The dish!

A begins to cry and sits down on the chair.

B takes the physiatrist role.

B

Oh my, whatever is the matter?

A

I never trusted that evil cow!

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