Wrestling - OUTSIDE OF THE RING

#29 - SPORTS 12: ICEHOCKEY

Chapter 1: Roman Reigns – The Tribal Shithead as Team Captain

Roman Reigns declares himself team captain, of course. "I'm the Tribal Chief, so I'm calling the shots."

Seth Rollins, the designated sane person, skates up to Roman. "Roman, it's not about being the 'head of the table.' You need actual strategy on the ice."

Roman smirks, looking around the rink like it's his kingdom. "I'll spear anyone who tries to take my puck."

Seth sighs. "This is going to be a disaster."

Chapter 2: Dean Ambrose, The Dumbass on Skates

Dean Ambrose can barely stand up on his skates, wobbling around like a drunk toddler. "Why is the ground so slippery?" he yells, arms flailing, crashing into the boards. He picks up a hockey stick and starts using it to balance, but only ends up smacking himself in the face. "I think the ice is broken!"

Bayley, the rainbow-loving softie, skates over to help. "Dean, you're not supposed to use the stick like that."

Dean, bleeding slightly from his own stick, smiles at her. "Thanks, babe, but I think I'm supposed to wrestle the puck into submission."

Bayley shakes her head, smiling softly. "You're doing great, sweetie."

Chapter 3: Jade and Bay Ley – The Cussing Couple

Meanwhile, on the ice, Jade Storm and her girlfriend, Bay Ley, are causing mayhem. They're both on defense, but instead of focusing on blocking shots, they're busy insulting everyone.

"Get outta my way, you twat!" Jade shouts, smashing her hockey stick into an opponent's knees.

"Oi, you lot are pathetic!" Bay Ley yells as she checks another player into the boards. She and Jade high-five mid-skate, laughing maniacally. "This is our ice now!"

Jade, with her punk-rock vibe, has no qualms about turning the rink into a war zone. "I swear, if anyone gets close to me, I'm taking this stick and shoving it where the sun don't shine!"

Chapter 4: Bay Ley vs. Bayley – The Twin Tension

In the locker room before the game, the tension between the twins, Bay Ley and Bayley, reaches a boiling point.

Bayley, the rainbow-loving twin, is trying to keep things positive, but Bay Ley's aggressive attitude is wearing her down.

"Bayley, why are you even here? You're too soft for this!" Bay Ley sneers, eyeing her twin with disdain.

"Just because I don't want to curse everyone out doesn't mean I can't play," Bayley responds, crossing her arms. "Besides, Dean's here."

Dean Ambrose crashes into a locker, barely standing upright on his skates. "I think I'm ready to play hockey. Is this like ladder matches but with ice?"

Bay Ley rolls her eyes. "Good luck with that."

Chapter 5: Gunther – The Annoyed Enforcer

Gunther is playing the role of the enforcer, but instead of throwing his weight around, he's too busy being annoyed with everyone's incompetence. He's the only one actually trying to play hockey.

"What the hell are you all doing?" Gunther yells as AJ Styles casually skates by, texting on his phone instead of paying attention to the game.

AJ, being the evil asshole that he is, just shrugs. "This isn't real competition anyway. Call me when there's a real match."

Gunther, about to lose his mind, grabs AJ by the jersey and shoves him toward the puck. "At least try to do something."

Chapter 6: Cena – The Sane, Can't-Say-No Guy

John Cena is stuck trying to referee the madness, his inability to say no putting him in charge of everything. Roman barks orders at him, Dean asks him to tie his skates, and Jade wants him to help with some "punk chaos."

Cena, trying to remain calm, shouts, "Okay, okay! Everyone just calm down and—"

Before he can finish, Alexa Bliss, the Pornstar Reject, skates past, shoving him into the boards. "Out of my way, Cena! This ice is mine!"

Cena groans, pulling himself up. "Why can't I just say no?"

Chapter 7: Alexa Bliss – The Pornstar Reject on Ice

Alexa Bliss takes the ice with her usual evil attitude, swearing under her breath and cutting people off left and right. Her skating is surprisingly good, but her foul attitude makes her the target of constant fouls.

"Get out of my way or I'll make sure you never walk again," Alexa hisses at a referee after getting called for roughing.

Becky Lynch, the badass chick, laughs from the bench. "I'd love to see you try, Alexa."

Alexa sneers back. "You'll get your turn, Lynch."

Chapter 8: Roman's Ego Meltdown

As the game progresses, Roman Reigns' ego gets even bigger. He's body-checking opponents like they're nothing and starts throwing the puck at people instead of passing it.

"I'm the Tribal Chief on ice!" Roman yells after knocking over three players in a row.

Seth Rollins finally skates over to him. "Roman, you're not supposed to kill people in hockey."

Roman shrugs. "I dominate. That's all that matters."

Chapter 9: Total Chaos – The WWE Way

By the third period, all semblance of hockey has broken down. Dean Ambrose is wrestling an opponent in the penalty box, Jade and Bay Ley have started a stick fight on the ice, and Gunther is screaming at the referee for not controlling the game.

Bay Ley throws off her gloves, ready to brawl with her sister, Bayley, when she skates too close. "You want some, sister?"

Bayley raises her hands. "Can't we just... play nice?"

Becky Lynch jumps into the fray, throwing a punch at an opponent. "Nah, Bayley, this is how we really play!"

Chapter 10: The Umpire Calls It

Finally, the referee blows the whistle to stop the carnage, throwing up his hands in defeat. "I don't know what game this is, but it's definitely not hockey!"

Epilogue: Banned from Ice Hockey

As they leave the rink, all bruised and exhausted, the WWE team receives a letter banning them from ice hockey—forever.

Cena, limping from the madness, turns to Seth. "I couldn't say no to this. I really wish I could."

Seth sighs. "Maybe we should stick to wrestling..."

Dean Ambrose grins like an idiot. "What's next? Ice dancing?"

The team groans, but Dean's already imagining himself pirouetting in skates, as chaos looms on the horizon of whatever sport they destroy next.