Never Too Late

Chapter Eight

Johan sat in the living room alone, slowly flipping through his notes as he carefully studied the work he received at school. Just then, he heard the front door unlock and his mother walked in so he put his notes away and greeted her.

"Oh, I didn't realize you we're studying. I hope I didn't disturb you." She said taking off her coat. "But why are you studying here?"

"I don't like studying on my bed and it's quiet here." He told her as he organized his books together.

"Oh dear, I didn't even remember that you don't have a desk! I'll ask your father to bring you one when he comes from work." She said apologetically.

"It's fine," Johan answered and shook his head as he observed his mother who was a bit on the plumper side but her cheeks were rosy and her eyes lit up whenever she spoke which gave her a youthful appearance and beauty.

"You don't need to worry, your father and I can give you whatever you want," she said sitting beside him. "But I guess my words must sound arrogant considering that's not really true."

"What?" Johan questionned, confused by her sudden shift in tone.

"All the money we have can never buy back the seventeen years we lost with you but if I could, I would trade everything to turn back time." His mother confessed with tears brimming in her eyes.

At a loss for words he sat watching her, realizing that she was still beating herself up over what happened long ago.

"It was all my fault," she continued, "I was supposed to be watching you and your brother but I turned away for moment and -"

She sobbed mid sentence and stopped to hug him and although he still wasn't used to physical contact he didn't mind it.

"I'm an awful mother! How could I let you out of my sight!? How could I let them take you!? You have a right to hate me!" She wept sorrowfully.

"I don't hate you," Johan interjected immediately.

"What?" His mother said slowly looking at him in disbelief.

"Why would I hate you? You've been nothing but kind to me." He affirmed in a reassuring tone. "I consider myself lucky because a lot of the kids in the foster homes I grew up had mothers who were drug addicts or didn't want them but I have both parents who care about me."

As he spoke, the memory of his mother embracing him after his father found him and brought him back returned to his mind. He also remembered how after the commotion had died down, he had fallen asleep in the guest room his parents had given him before briefly waking when his mother came in and covered him with a blanket.

"I'm happy that I was able to find you guys even if it took so long." He told her truthfully and she started smiling again.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to cry in front of you, but I guess I've been doing that a lot huh?" She said drying her eyes. "I'll try my best to control my tears better and I know you don't want me to, but I'm still going to do everything I can for you."

Nodding, Johan accepted her wishes and she smiled happily then hugged him again tightly. As the hug dragged on he thought back to when he was still in foster care and had wondered what motherly love would feel like and even though he hadn't spent much time with his mother, whenever she held him he felt warm.

"By the way, where's your brother and sister?" His mother asked pulling away and looking around when she realized that she hadn't heard or seen them.

"Rachel is at dance practice," He said, remembering when they had parted ways earlier in the evening.

"Oh, I forgot." She laughed.

"And Luke went off somewhere not long after we got home."

"Oh, well I suppose he's gone to spend time with his friends." She sighed a little.

"Maybe," He said looking at the clock on the wall.

"Johan, please give your brother a chance. I know he might seem distant now but he's really caring and dependable." His mom told him optimistically.

"It's fine, I know Luke will get used to me eventually and personally I don't have anything against him." Johan reassured her.

"That's wonderful! By the way how has school been? I know the week must've been busy."

"It's been decent so far," He said nonchalantly.

"And classes? They aren't too hard right?" She asked as she scanned the books he had on the coffee table.

"No, I'm managing just fine." He sighed.

"I know you're smart, I can just tell. You'll catch up with your peers soon." She said getting up and heading towards the kitchen. "I'll leave now so you can continue studying."

As she walked away the smile on his face disappeared because he hadn't been telling the truth about his and Luke's relationship. After the first day of school Luke had treated him hostily and avoided him like the plague. He recalled all the unwanted attention they initially attracted and remembered how Luke looked livid but now the stares had faded but even at home he scowled at him. He avoided talking about the situation to his mother so it wouldn't upset her but he knew it was only a matter of time before they got into an argument or worse, a physical confrontation.

Slowly he began packing up his books and heading towards his room because the last thing he wanted was to run into Luke when he came home. His sister had been the buffer between them and had prevented any conflict so far but with her being at practice there was nothing to prevent them from clashing.

Once in his room, he looked through his old bagpack and found the box he received on his birthday from Asher, in it he still had the money he was given and the note he had written.

Although they had been best friends and not family he seemed more of a brother to him than Luke could ever be. They had struggled and suffered together, something Luke could never understand which made him feel guilty because he knew Asher deserved the life he was currently living more than he did.